Martha & The Chocolate Brownies

Tuesday 8th February

We have been in Bali now for 4 days and its a wonderful place to chill out and do very little indeed.

The day we arrived Pauline had the inspired idea of walking to the mini market to get some supplies as she had discovered a local map and it appeared to be just a little way up the road.

An hour and a half later we had made it to a point on the map that was litterally just above the sign for our hotel when luckily we spotted a very small shop that sold crisps and coke (my staple diet).

At this stage we were all wringing with sweat and a little miffed to say the least, it probably didnt help that a few steps into our return journey I had already demolished half of our liquid resources and was busily working my way through my second packet of crisps.

We were therefore somewhat relieved when a random local person (who must have bore witness to a sight that he shall not be forgetting in a long time) kindly decided to take pity on these dejected souls and offer us a lift back home.

There was a tremendous sense of relief upon our return, not only because we would now be able to retain the use of our lower limbs but also because had retained enough coke for all of us to have a very, very small glass later that evening.

Yes, the journey had been an unmitigated triumph after all and as Tyler doesnt eat crisps it meant that Pauline and I had a veritable feast of a meal that night, practically gorging ourselves stupid on the half a bag of crisps that remained from our little foray into the wilderness.

The Asian tradition of cramming as many things onto a bike as humanly possible has been a relatively consistant theme throughout our trip thus far, so it seems only natural that we should now find ourselves adopting this tradition as our own.

The raw power of a 50cc Yamaha moped engine is enough to bring a tear to any motor enthusiasts eye but when this is coupled with the slender frames of 2.5 Europeans it really is a force to be reckoned with.

You can see the envious glares of the locals as this fine piece of machinery gracefully reaches speeds in excess of 20 miles per hour over the pot holed mud laden streets of Canggu.

When going at these speeds its is obvioulsy advisable to err on the side of caution and ensure that you wear the appropriate safety apperatus, so we were very lucky indeed that they managed to dig out three of the sportiest racing helmets known to man.

We looked as though we were extra's from the film "Cool Runnings" about to compete for the world luge finals, except in this version there were multiple lanes and we were holding all of the other teams up by swerving uncontrolably towards them.

Luckily we cleverly managed to get ourselves caught up in the one way system around Kutu which meant that we got to practive our moped skills for over an hour on the same familiar streets, annoying the same familiar people.

The place where we are staying is lovely, its a Yoga retreat so for me it is just like a home away from home, except that this home had a swimming pool, loads of little bungalows and obviously loads of poeple trying to stretch their bodies into positions that should'nt be humanly possible.

Its located just around the corner from Echo Beach, famous for the song by Martha & the Muffins, where she sings about being depressed because she has to work instead of spending her time here all day, Martha 0 - Smiths 1.

At least she can take consulation in the fact that she is now making everyone else on Echo Beach depressed as we have heard that song 5 times so far and we have only been there twice.

Yesterday it was Paulines birthday, and whilst we were out devastating the streets of Bali on our moped we managed to cram a brownie cake into the helmet compartment of the moped.

When we brought it the shop had kindly already cut it up into individual little sections, however by the time we retreived it from the moped it looked somewhat like a flattened cow pat that had become the new home for thousands of little chocolate worms.

Unfrotunately it also tasted like this so the majority of the cake was given out to the various guests staying in the hotel, luckily Pauline was ill so didnt want to eat cake anyway so I guess that was a bonus.