Room with a view......

Friday 24th September

Russia is an extremely vast country with a varied and fascinating landscape, cities larger than London fly past our windows at lightening speeds only to be followed by a series of shanty towns for miles on end. 

With my family fast asleep I thought I would take some time to reflect on some of the intricacies of the train journey thus far. 

1. This particular train has no washing facilities, whilst this may be fine for those travelling for a single day we have now been on it for three and there is a distinct odour emanating from our compartment. You don't even want to get me started about the people who have been on here for the full five days but let's just say you can smell them before you can see them. 

2. The Gestapo trained carriage attendants lock the toilets before entering a station, however they do this to there own agenda, sometimes locking it just before we get there, other times locking it 30 minutes before arrival. Whilst this has been fun to watch, Pauline seems to have coordinated her restroom breaks precisely  minute after the doors are locked and sometimes has to wait several hours to use them (much to my amusement). 

3. The buffet car is guarded by two trolls who have on,y a basic concept of currency and guard their territory with an iron fist and a complete inability to smile. The same item can be charged at different prices throughout the day and they stock an immense selection of some of the worst tasting substances known to man. 

4. Over time layers of filth have congregated onto the windows of the carriage making it next to impossible to take pictures without them looking as though you are shooting a Petrie dish full of microorganisms.

5. The toilet (when unlocked) opens directly onto the track which provides quite a surprise the first time that you go to use it. The previously solid base of e toilet flaps down as you flush to allow yesterdays dinner to grace the railways sleepers of some poor Russian community. 

6. If someone is to join your carriage in the early hours of the morning, Gestapo lady will simply unlock your door, throw on all of the lights and dump the poor soul in the middle of the room much to the annoyance of the bleary eyed, angry and very tired inhabitants.

7. At all of the major stations a plethora of the great unwashed descends onto the platform to be greeted by a selection of the great unwashed from the local community touting their wears. These range from your standard name brand drinks (none of which are stocked by the trolls so it makes sense to get them whilst you can) to a great selection of dead, mostly inedible looking creatures of the fish and roadkill varieties. 

8. There are only a cole of power sockets for the entire carriage and up until now we have found only one that actually works. This means that at different points throughout the day Pauline or I can be found wedged into a corner, outside a toilet, sitting on a trash bin wi some piece of electrical equipment resting precariously on our knees. 

9. The fascinating thing is that it all seems perfectly normal for everyone involved and I have to admit that I too am becoming accustomed to the curiosities of the journey. It is what it is, you can't change it, so why not kick back, relax, drink a dodgy Russian soda, eat your daily port in of dried out roadkill and smell the place out like the rest of them.