Monday 18th April
It is with great regret and a smidge of sarcasm that we finally had to bid a sad farewell to our beloved and trusty campervan who over the past two months has found a special place in our heart (right in the darkest depths) and temporarily became a member of our extended family (albeit the horrible distant relation that you always hate to visit but are made too).
As such we thought that it would be rather fitting to dedicate the beginning of this blog entry to the fond memories that we have shared together over the last 2 months and highlight some of the amazing features that came to light on this feat of engineering supremacy.
Everyone that we have encountered on our trip thus far have taken the time to provide their vehicles with witty little names that reflect their unique characters and increase their bond with the van, however all of the names we designated were definitely not suitable for Tyler's ears and as a result it shall forever remain nameless.
Although the van was obtained from one of the cheaper rental companies it had many features that even the most expensive motorhomes lacked, for example:
Anti filth sensors:
In order to ensure that the inhabitants of the vehicle maintain a certain level of sanitary cleanliness at all times the vehicle is equipped with its own internal fresh water shower which, depending on weather, will rain down on all inhabitants at varying times and with varying levels of intensity.
Day Spa
Unlike other lesser vans on the market, this one comes as standard with its own Turkish bath option that is automatically activated every morning to create a soothing mass of steam and water right in the comfort of your own bed.
Tailored right turn anti roll system:
One of the more advanced features that is included on this model is the patented right turn handling system which is made possible due to the van listing very heavily to the left at all times.
As a result turning right is a complete doddle as you stick to the road regardless of speed, unfortunately a lack of engineering foresight means that left turns are somewhat trickier and must be taken at snails pace to avoid rolling the beast, but who turns left these days anyway?
Advanced Anti Access System:
A breakthrough in not breaking through, this system ensures that you will never tire of opening doors again as you try to work out which ones will unlock when the key is turned. Its a great game for all of the family as no two turns are ever the same.
Just when you think you have finally cracked the sequence the van ups it game by applying the Super Lock feature to your back door which now means you have to climb in through one of the randomly unlocked doors to open it as the handle has been disabled.
Great fun for all the family or your money back!
Automated oil changing engine:
An engine that is so highly advanced it regularly changes its own oil every few weeks in order to ensure that optimum efficiency is achieved at all times*
*Note: New oil not included and must be purchased in vast quantities at drivers cost
One way Mosquito screens:
All windows are fitted with the very latest one way mosquito screens ensuring easy access into the vehicle for a wide variety of flying wildlife and creating your very own insect zoo without ever having to leave the vehicle.
Watch in amazement as some of natures most spectacular winged insects fly right before your eyes and penetrate your skin.
Starsky & Hutch Wheels:
One of the most sought after accessories of the year, with Starsky and Hutch wheels you are guaranteed to screech your way around every single corner creating the illusion of driving at breakneck speeds for all spectators to envy*
*Note: Please do not drive at speed however as this feature is achieved by having no tread on any of the tyres.
Yes, our little van will be sadly missed indeed, however we now have yet another one that is slightly less broken so I am sure we will have a few more undiscovered features to update people on at some point.
I cant even remember when I last updated the blog so I am sure that I will miss something out, however we have just spent a few days up in Melbourne as we had to exchange our van.
Luckily we arrived to discover that the annual Melbourne Comedy Festival was running, unluckily we arrived with an 8 year old in tow which meant our comedic access was limited to children's entertainment.
We went to see a show call the list operators who were two homosexual guys talking about 'Compooters' and dreaming of Robert Pattison which was very surreal.
I got pulled up on stage by them in order to recreate a game of original Pong in a children versus the smelliest parent in the room (yes that was what it was called and the tag fitted pretty bloody well) nail biting contest which I lost at spectacularly.
I absolutely hate getting up on stage but I did point out to Pauline that being pulled up on stage by two homosexuals during their performance was by far more preferable than being pulled off on stage by two homosexuals during their performance, however next time I think I will take to cowering in the back and running away if necessary.
They did teach us a new bit of text speak though which is ROFLSHTALBOWCO, answers on a postcard if you can guess what it stands for but I am sure that if you have made it this far and are reading this you probably couldn't care less.
We also jumped aboard the free city tram which provides a guided tour of the city for free, it was fantastic and totally unexpected in a place where everything seems to cost more than we had ever expected, Pauline loved it as it takes you past all of the churches and there were hundreds of people getting married that day so she could critique their clothes.
After leaving Melbourne we headed down to the Mornington Pennisula in order to meet my parents good friends John (whom I had been chatting to on email for years when we were first thinking of doing this crazy trip) & Glynnis, their daughter Gaynor and dogs Baxter and Hazel.
Once again we were spoilt rotten and thoroughly looked after and this time we got to learn some embarrassing stories about my parents and John took us around on a guided tour of the area so it was a thoroughly enjoyable trip!
Every time we stay with people we never want to leave as they have all made us feel so welcome, however needs must and as a result we have worked our way a little further around the coast to Phillip Island and will be then heading upwards towards New South Wales.
We have also now decided to head across to New Zealand next month which should be fun!
Monday, 18 April 2011
Monday, 11 April 2011
The Great Ocean Campervan
Monday 11th April
After the exquisite luxury of Chez Johnson (our friends house) in Adelaide we have found it extremely difficult returning to the camper van way of life.
The weather here has taken a nasty turn for the worse over the passed week and the van has been pummelled every night by rain storms that last several hours.
Its like living in a giant bass box with an out of practice steel drum band on the roof reciting the same mind numbing tune for hours on end using extra large sledgehammers for drumsticks.
That, when coupled with the gale force gusts of wind that gently rock the van too and thro like an over enthusiastic wrecking ball and the leak in our roof that has created our very own indoor ocean waterfall, pretty much guarantees a complete lack of sleep.
We were informed that the town where we had stayed on Thursday was having the worst weather that it had seen in the passed 13 years, which was nice.
Having said that the Great Ocean Road is absolutely stunning, you wonder what all of the fuss is about at first, the road is pretty boring and when you reach the first town its not coastal and very nondescript.
Then all of a sudden you turn the corner and are totally knocked for six, quite literally words could never do justice to the transformation that occurs in front of your eyes at that moment, so I wont even bother trying.
Pauline and I just sat there, mouths agape for several minutes, Tyler on the other hand was still trying to win a battle on Pokemon and couldn't have given a hoot about rock formations or any other type of scenery for that matter.
So, in order to change his perspective we then proceeded to stop at every available scenic spot en route and drag him out for photos ops and to give him his dues he did eventually fain an interest.
When we reached the twelve apostles we were once again gob smacked, not because of the spectacle itself (which is very cool) but because there was a full car park and loads of people scurrying about doing touristy things, which up until now we hadn't seen anywhere in Oz.
We found a space and then proceeded down to the viewing platforms with the masses feeling a little put out, up until this moment Oz had felt like our own private island with the odd helpful tour guide to point you in the right direction.
Still it was well worth the walk and as we are currently only a few miles down the coast from it we may well go back again this morning for a quick look.
I am not sure if I had previously mentioned that our fantastic camper van is so cutting edge that it is equipped with a top of the range cassette deck, which up until now had either been used for listening to static on the radio or as a clock for those people that need to know when it is precisely 10:00.
Well now, thanks to a rather impromptu budget blowing splurge at one of the recent Op shops (1$) by Pauline, we are cruising down the most spectacular road in the world accompanied by Al Johnson and Frank Sinatra singing the greats.
Also, in other news, seaweed provisions are depleting quickly from the southern coastline of Australia after yet another successful fishing attempt by the smith family.
After the exquisite luxury of Chez Johnson (our friends house) in Adelaide we have found it extremely difficult returning to the camper van way of life.
The weather here has taken a nasty turn for the worse over the passed week and the van has been pummelled every night by rain storms that last several hours.
Its like living in a giant bass box with an out of practice steel drum band on the roof reciting the same mind numbing tune for hours on end using extra large sledgehammers for drumsticks.
That, when coupled with the gale force gusts of wind that gently rock the van too and thro like an over enthusiastic wrecking ball and the leak in our roof that has created our very own indoor ocean waterfall, pretty much guarantees a complete lack of sleep.
We were informed that the town where we had stayed on Thursday was having the worst weather that it had seen in the passed 13 years, which was nice.
Having said that the Great Ocean Road is absolutely stunning, you wonder what all of the fuss is about at first, the road is pretty boring and when you reach the first town its not coastal and very nondescript.
Then all of a sudden you turn the corner and are totally knocked for six, quite literally words could never do justice to the transformation that occurs in front of your eyes at that moment, so I wont even bother trying.
Pauline and I just sat there, mouths agape for several minutes, Tyler on the other hand was still trying to win a battle on Pokemon and couldn't have given a hoot about rock formations or any other type of scenery for that matter.
So, in order to change his perspective we then proceeded to stop at every available scenic spot en route and drag him out for photos ops and to give him his dues he did eventually fain an interest.
When we reached the twelve apostles we were once again gob smacked, not because of the spectacle itself (which is very cool) but because there was a full car park and loads of people scurrying about doing touristy things, which up until now we hadn't seen anywhere in Oz.
We found a space and then proceeded down to the viewing platforms with the masses feeling a little put out, up until this moment Oz had felt like our own private island with the odd helpful tour guide to point you in the right direction.
Still it was well worth the walk and as we are currently only a few miles down the coast from it we may well go back again this morning for a quick look.
I am not sure if I had previously mentioned that our fantastic camper van is so cutting edge that it is equipped with a top of the range cassette deck, which up until now had either been used for listening to static on the radio or as a clock for those people that need to know when it is precisely 10:00.
Well now, thanks to a rather impromptu budget blowing splurge at one of the recent Op shops (1$) by Pauline, we are cruising down the most spectacular road in the world accompanied by Al Johnson and Frank Sinatra singing the greats.
Also, in other news, seaweed provisions are depleting quickly from the southern coastline of Australia after yet another successful fishing attempt by the smith family.
Tuesday, 5 April 2011
Idlelaide
Tuesday 5th April
Wow I am so utterly crap at updating this thing, we are now in Adelaide and I hadn't realised how long it had been so sorry!
To be honest there wasn't a huge amount to write about the last week or so in West Australia.
We lost our car to the mechanics for a few days and they kindly rented me a bright purple Daewoo with a sun burnt roof to drive around in (which i promptly broke quite spectacularly by taking out the entire front wing).
When will these people learn not to trust me with their vehicles?
From there we headed down to Esperance and Lucky Bay which was absolutely spectacular with some of the most breathtaking coastline that I have ever seen in my life and an abundance of kangaroos milling around the campsites and sunning themselves.
We made it across the Nullabor, albeit having to fill up with petrol 4 times and oil twice, which meant that upon arrival in Adelaide our lovely little van went straight back into the garage.
When we reached South Australia we spent a few nights in coffin bay a beautiful little coastal village with its own seal colony and occasional shark death.
On our first night there we met a crazy Vietnam war veteran who informed us that we would be accompanying him on his fishing trip the following day, he had a similar persona to the crazy fisherman from the original Jaws film and there was a very good chance that he only invited us to use as bait.
Amazingly we did catch a fair few fish during the course of the day and he even drove us out to the adjacent island so that we could see the sea lions frolicking in the surf which was cool and we returned back to shore with all of our limbs which was even cooler.
We had seen adverts for cage diving with the great white shark in Western Australia and it was going to be our one blow the budget item when we reached Port Lincoln, however when we got there they wanted to charge us over £1000 so we bottled it.
Instead though we did get to come face to face with a giant great white, although this one was made out of papier mache and had cost us $3 to view, it also had the added bonus of an overly enthusiastic tour guide who obviously couldn't believe tourists had finally shown up to see the "Shakka" the shark.
She continued to linger around the entire time that we were there and you could tell how proud she was of this giant Blue Peter model that was quietly sat gathering dust in the back of the visitors centre.
Following on from there we headed north up the Eyre Peninsula and other than the occasional skink on the road we didn't see a huge amount, we spent one night in Port Augusta and then continued down the Yorke Peninsula which had much of the same.
We have been spoilt rotten here in Adelaide, Linda, Mark and their kids, Roan and Maeh have gone out of their way to ensure that we have been very well looked after, we have been totally blown away by their hospitality and are amazed that they didn't kick us out as soon as they saw the van pull around the corner or the moment that they smelt us :-)
As a result we haven't seen a great amount of Adelaide as we have been really lazy and its been fantastic, we have completely vegged out and recouped but its going to be hard to get back onto the road tomorrow :-(
Wow I am so utterly crap at updating this thing, we are now in Adelaide and I hadn't realised how long it had been so sorry!
To be honest there wasn't a huge amount to write about the last week or so in West Australia.
We lost our car to the mechanics for a few days and they kindly rented me a bright purple Daewoo with a sun burnt roof to drive around in (which i promptly broke quite spectacularly by taking out the entire front wing).
When will these people learn not to trust me with their vehicles?
From there we headed down to Esperance and Lucky Bay which was absolutely spectacular with some of the most breathtaking coastline that I have ever seen in my life and an abundance of kangaroos milling around the campsites and sunning themselves.
We made it across the Nullabor, albeit having to fill up with petrol 4 times and oil twice, which meant that upon arrival in Adelaide our lovely little van went straight back into the garage.
When we reached South Australia we spent a few nights in coffin bay a beautiful little coastal village with its own seal colony and occasional shark death.
On our first night there we met a crazy Vietnam war veteran who informed us that we would be accompanying him on his fishing trip the following day, he had a similar persona to the crazy fisherman from the original Jaws film and there was a very good chance that he only invited us to use as bait.
Amazingly we did catch a fair few fish during the course of the day and he even drove us out to the adjacent island so that we could see the sea lions frolicking in the surf which was cool and we returned back to shore with all of our limbs which was even cooler.
We had seen adverts for cage diving with the great white shark in Western Australia and it was going to be our one blow the budget item when we reached Port Lincoln, however when we got there they wanted to charge us over £1000 so we bottled it.
Instead though we did get to come face to face with a giant great white, although this one was made out of papier mache and had cost us $3 to view, it also had the added bonus of an overly enthusiastic tour guide who obviously couldn't believe tourists had finally shown up to see the "Shakka" the shark.
She continued to linger around the entire time that we were there and you could tell how proud she was of this giant Blue Peter model that was quietly sat gathering dust in the back of the visitors centre.
Following on from there we headed north up the Eyre Peninsula and other than the occasional skink on the road we didn't see a huge amount, we spent one night in Port Augusta and then continued down the Yorke Peninsula which had much of the same.
We have been spoilt rotten here in Adelaide, Linda, Mark and their kids, Roan and Maeh have gone out of their way to ensure that we have been very well looked after, we have been totally blown away by their hospitality and are amazed that they didn't kick us out as soon as they saw the van pull around the corner or the moment that they smelt us :-)
As a result we haven't seen a great amount of Adelaide as we have been really lazy and its been fantastic, we have completely vegged out and recouped but its going to be hard to get back onto the road tomorrow :-(
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