Sunday 31st October
As we are now nearing the end of our first China foray and as with Russia, I would like to make note of a few individual observations here that hopefully capture some of the essence of china.
China makes a profound impact on all who pass through it and given a
lifetime it would still be impossible to sample all that this country
has to offer, yet alone integrate fully into it's culture.
Everything about the country is truly foreign to mere tourists such as
ourselves, yet we cannot help but find ourselves warming greatly to both it's way of life as well as it's community spirit. The people we have encountered during our brief visit have been overly accommodating with a desire to understand as much about us as we are eager to learn about them.
There is an overwhelming sense of national pride and with good reason
too, this is a country that is making leaps and bounds into global
dominance of nearly every industry. People seem to have real purpose
and although the wages do not compare to that of its western
counterparts, people appear to take pride in their jobs and seem genuinely committed to providing a good service.
So anyway without further delay here are a few points on this amazing country:
1. Nostrils: be prepared to have them put through their paces.
Although I had been forewarned prior to my visit, nothing had truly
prepared me for the overwhelming array of smells that one has to
endure during the course of an average day. Ranging from the hunger
inducing culinary aromas that are to be found on nearly every street
corner through to the less pleasant nasal burning stench of the public
lavatories. I am not sure that one truly ever gets accustomed to these
and several times a day you are stopped in your tracks as some new
nose feast hits your senses like a slap around the face.
2. Dental hygiene, or lack thereof: I had confidently been informed
that the UK has the worst reputation for dental hygiene in the world
(thanks mostly to Austin Powers I presume). However let me put that
record straight right now, never in all of my days have I seen such a
distinct lack of pearly whites than there is here in china. I used to think that travel photographers were in some way gifted at capturing people with distinctly ghastly teeth, grinning from cavity to cavity. Now however I know the truth, they simply take a photo of anyone that
smiles here thats over the age of 60.
3. Trains: there seems to be a running joke with the travel
authorities to see how many people they can wedge into each carriage
which is a feat in itself as the tickets are so bloody difficult to
buy in the first place. We have savoured the spectrum of seating
options that china has to offer from soft sleepers through to standing
only and I can say with conviction that nobody does it quite like
China. Any destination that offers seats also offers a standing
option, this means that there are usually twice as many people in
these carriages than was originally intended. It's like a giant game
of musical chairs, if you get up for a toilet break you return to find
your chair inhabited by an entire family intent on staying put. Try as
you might to move them this is generally futile and your only option
is to wait until the next poor shmuck who needs to relieve themselves
and dive into their preheated hard seat. This goes on for the duration
of the journey (sometimes over multiple days) until everyone has been
inconvenienced at least once and the only person smiling at the end is
the old landy with the colostomy bag.
4. Signs: The Chinese see a "no smoking" sign as a personal challenge
to see who can smoke the most whilst loitering in front of it. This
also applies to "no photos", "no eating" and I presume "no loitering"
too although this last one is unconfirmed. Whilst I won't dwell on this
as it is already pretty well documented, the English translations on
some of the signage are often highly comical and I can't help thinking
that someone somewhere did this just for a giggle.
5. Food: Nothing appears to be off limits for the chinese pallet and during our trip we have encountered such culinary delights as live scorpians and spiders through to pigs brain soup and fried snake. The local food is also unbelieveably cheap in comparison to the various western restaurants that have sprung up everywhere, often enabling all three of us to eat and drink for less than £5. Portion sizes range from gargantuan to unbelievable and I fail to understand how so many of the locals manage to maintain their skeletal physiques.
Today is our last full day in China as we will be jumping aboard a sleeper bus through to Hanoi this evening, a journey that will probably provide little sleep but hopefully plenty of entertainment.
Saturday, 30 October 2010
Friday, 29 October 2010
On a bicycle made for 2
Friday 29th October
Wow, this place is mesmerising! We have headed south out of Guilin for a few days to Yangshou as we had heard it was beautiful and luckily for us this was a gross understatement.
To reach it we took a bamboo boat down the river Li, a journey of some 2 hours travelling at walking pace and trying to absorb as much of the surrounding outcrops and stone monoliths as possible whilst also trying to avoid getting wet at the same time.
The river was pretty chaotic and every time one of the larger tour boats whizzed passed a wave hit the side of our boat causing it to jolt to the side and take on water. This however only added to the overall experience for me, a little bit of excitement on an otherwise serene journey.
When we arrived in Yangshou itself we were picked up by a large golf cart and whisked away down a rocky road that was meant only for large 4x4 vehicles. For the first time i got to experience what it felt like to be a lottery ball in a picking machine as my insides were violently thrusted from side to side with reckless abandon.
The ten minute drive felt like an hour as we traversed windy roads with hairpin corners squashed like sardines into our tin on wheels. We finally arrived at the bus station and were immediately set upon by a group of touts, picking off unsuspecting tourists with the promise of cheap rooms and hot showers.
Luckily we had booked ours in advance and set off down the street in search of our haven for the next few nights. As it turns out we may have been a little hasty in our judgement of direction and found ourselves 20 minutes away from the hotel which was actually right next to the drop off point where we started.
It's impossible though for your spirits to be dampened in this place, the overly touristic town is completely surrounded by large hills on all sides and has an air of intrigue about it that promises something for everyone who visits.
We had met a couple of people on our boat and as they had nowhere to stay they decided to come with us to see if there was room at the inn. They were in luck and after a quick freshening up we descended back down to the main street in search of the allusive beer and food that had been taunting us since our arrival from the safety of it's giant bill boards.
As we were sauntering through west street we came across their local shopping centre and although to the casual passer by I must have looked like a crazed lunatic on day release I immediately stopped and giggled my head off. We have seen some real humdingers on our travels but nothing quite beats the "Wang ke long shopping complex" a place that is so proud of it's name that it displays it not once but twice in giant 10ft neon letters outside.
We eventually choose one of the many nearby restaurants and started to hatch a plan for what we would do the next day and although the touts did their best to interrupt the conversation every few seconds by shoving postcards, watches and wooden flutes on to our laps we eventually managed to.
This is how I found myself the next day on a tandem bike with Tyler in tow, careering through the streets of Yangshou on our way to the much publicised moon water caves. I am not sure if any of you have ever ridden a tandem but it's very disconcerting, it's as if someone is chasing you and no matter what you do you can't shake them off.
You become tempted to take bends sharply and go off road just to get away but to his credit Tyler was also gifted in the art of tracking and stayed with me all the way.
When we reached our destination we had to strip off to our swimming trunks and jump aboard a wooden boat that would take us through to the hot springs and mud baths that laid inside. As it turns out this was somewhat misleading, what it actually did was take you to the entrance of an incredibly tight 5 mile hike through crevasses and cracks that were not designed for human passage.
As masculine as we all looked in our swimming trunks, flip flops and hard hats, I got the feeling that the guide was still laughing at us!
When we finally reached the mud baths we were broken people and if someone had asked us to reveal all of our inner most secrets at that precise moment in return for a chilled beer I am pretty sure that the guide would have had enough material for a new book.
Still instead we were asked to get into the bath and unwind, a feat that proved to be very difficult to do as "unwind" and "freezing temperature" are seldom heard in the same sentence. Our sweat immediately disappeared to be replaced by goose bumps as we all tried our best to become accustomed to the surreal experience of attempting to walk through thick cold mud.
In true british form though our inhibitions didn't remain intact for long and in no time at all we were completely caked in thick brown sludge from head to toe, in one fail swoop we had transcended from the lead singers in the YMCA to the backing singers for the scat man (if you don't get it don't ask).
Pauline took great pleasure in pouring a huge amount of the stuff down the back of my swimming trunks and I had visions of going through life with a cement filled butt crack and everlasting colonics. I will however get my revenge, it is just a matter of time and I shall choose my moment wisely :-)
Tyler had a whale of a time, the bath had a slide into it and he was quick to jump at the chance of getting as dirty as possible with his parents blessing. Luckily the hot spring beckoned and we all sprinted (as much as our environment and flip flops would allow) back through the narrow passageways to cleanliness.
Now to most people a bath is something that is habitually taken out of the need for hygiene and a fear of stinking and loosing your friends, however I can honestly say that for us 5 people the water we now encountered was pure unadulterated ecstasy.
Never before had this cave encountered a sigh of satisfaction so loud, to the point where we were worried that the stalactites may well be shaken loose from above. I am pretty sure though that even if this did happen, at that moment, none of us would have been willing to move out of the way and when our bodies were eventually recovered they would still have the satisfied looks of people who had just had the best baths of their lives.
Once we were fully satisfied that we had got every last bit of mud off (an impossible feat as we later found out) we wound our way through the remainder of the caves and back to civilisation.
After this we thought that we would get over the long hike we had just had in the caves by climbing to the top of moon hill, some 800 steps. Yeah what a great idea that was, it had been so long since my body had been covered in sweat but now I had the added benefit of my legs aching too.
Still the view from the top was incredible and we were lucky to encounter a rock climber who was actually climbing around the crest of the moon that is the main focal point to the hill. You will have to see the pictures to fully understand but let me accure you that there is absolutely bugger all chance you could ever get me doing anything like that.
I know I have written more than usual but this morning we were woken abruptly from our slumber by what sounded like a gun fight in the street outside, well I say "we" both Pauline and Tyler could sleep through anything and today was no exception. So I went outside to check out what was happening and there was a funeral procession on the street with everyone throwing fire crackers on the floor and a brass band, it was an incredible sight but one can't help wondering why they chose to be buried at 06:30. I guess they hated their neighbours and this was their last chance at getting their own back.
Wow, this place is mesmerising! We have headed south out of Guilin for a few days to Yangshou as we had heard it was beautiful and luckily for us this was a gross understatement.
To reach it we took a bamboo boat down the river Li, a journey of some 2 hours travelling at walking pace and trying to absorb as much of the surrounding outcrops and stone monoliths as possible whilst also trying to avoid getting wet at the same time.
The river was pretty chaotic and every time one of the larger tour boats whizzed passed a wave hit the side of our boat causing it to jolt to the side and take on water. This however only added to the overall experience for me, a little bit of excitement on an otherwise serene journey.
When we arrived in Yangshou itself we were picked up by a large golf cart and whisked away down a rocky road that was meant only for large 4x4 vehicles. For the first time i got to experience what it felt like to be a lottery ball in a picking machine as my insides were violently thrusted from side to side with reckless abandon.
The ten minute drive felt like an hour as we traversed windy roads with hairpin corners squashed like sardines into our tin on wheels. We finally arrived at the bus station and were immediately set upon by a group of touts, picking off unsuspecting tourists with the promise of cheap rooms and hot showers.
Luckily we had booked ours in advance and set off down the street in search of our haven for the next few nights. As it turns out we may have been a little hasty in our judgement of direction and found ourselves 20 minutes away from the hotel which was actually right next to the drop off point where we started.
It's impossible though for your spirits to be dampened in this place, the overly touristic town is completely surrounded by large hills on all sides and has an air of intrigue about it that promises something for everyone who visits.
We had met a couple of people on our boat and as they had nowhere to stay they decided to come with us to see if there was room at the inn. They were in luck and after a quick freshening up we descended back down to the main street in search of the allusive beer and food that had been taunting us since our arrival from the safety of it's giant bill boards.
As we were sauntering through west street we came across their local shopping centre and although to the casual passer by I must have looked like a crazed lunatic on day release I immediately stopped and giggled my head off. We have seen some real humdingers on our travels but nothing quite beats the "Wang ke long shopping complex" a place that is so proud of it's name that it displays it not once but twice in giant 10ft neon letters outside.
We eventually choose one of the many nearby restaurants and started to hatch a plan for what we would do the next day and although the touts did their best to interrupt the conversation every few seconds by shoving postcards, watches and wooden flutes on to our laps we eventually managed to.
This is how I found myself the next day on a tandem bike with Tyler in tow, careering through the streets of Yangshou on our way to the much publicised moon water caves. I am not sure if any of you have ever ridden a tandem but it's very disconcerting, it's as if someone is chasing you and no matter what you do you can't shake them off.
You become tempted to take bends sharply and go off road just to get away but to his credit Tyler was also gifted in the art of tracking and stayed with me all the way.
When we reached our destination we had to strip off to our swimming trunks and jump aboard a wooden boat that would take us through to the hot springs and mud baths that laid inside. As it turns out this was somewhat misleading, what it actually did was take you to the entrance of an incredibly tight 5 mile hike through crevasses and cracks that were not designed for human passage.
As masculine as we all looked in our swimming trunks, flip flops and hard hats, I got the feeling that the guide was still laughing at us!
When we finally reached the mud baths we were broken people and if someone had asked us to reveal all of our inner most secrets at that precise moment in return for a chilled beer I am pretty sure that the guide would have had enough material for a new book.
Still instead we were asked to get into the bath and unwind, a feat that proved to be very difficult to do as "unwind" and "freezing temperature" are seldom heard in the same sentence. Our sweat immediately disappeared to be replaced by goose bumps as we all tried our best to become accustomed to the surreal experience of attempting to walk through thick cold mud.
In true british form though our inhibitions didn't remain intact for long and in no time at all we were completely caked in thick brown sludge from head to toe, in one fail swoop we had transcended from the lead singers in the YMCA to the backing singers for the scat man (if you don't get it don't ask).
Pauline took great pleasure in pouring a huge amount of the stuff down the back of my swimming trunks and I had visions of going through life with a cement filled butt crack and everlasting colonics. I will however get my revenge, it is just a matter of time and I shall choose my moment wisely :-)
Tyler had a whale of a time, the bath had a slide into it and he was quick to jump at the chance of getting as dirty as possible with his parents blessing. Luckily the hot spring beckoned and we all sprinted (as much as our environment and flip flops would allow) back through the narrow passageways to cleanliness.
Now to most people a bath is something that is habitually taken out of the need for hygiene and a fear of stinking and loosing your friends, however I can honestly say that for us 5 people the water we now encountered was pure unadulterated ecstasy.
Never before had this cave encountered a sigh of satisfaction so loud, to the point where we were worried that the stalactites may well be shaken loose from above. I am pretty sure though that even if this did happen, at that moment, none of us would have been willing to move out of the way and when our bodies were eventually recovered they would still have the satisfied looks of people who had just had the best baths of their lives.
Once we were fully satisfied that we had got every last bit of mud off (an impossible feat as we later found out) we wound our way through the remainder of the caves and back to civilisation.
After this we thought that we would get over the long hike we had just had in the caves by climbing to the top of moon hill, some 800 steps. Yeah what a great idea that was, it had been so long since my body had been covered in sweat but now I had the added benefit of my legs aching too.
Still the view from the top was incredible and we were lucky to encounter a rock climber who was actually climbing around the crest of the moon that is the main focal point to the hill. You will have to see the pictures to fully understand but let me accure you that there is absolutely bugger all chance you could ever get me doing anything like that.
I know I have written more than usual but this morning we were woken abruptly from our slumber by what sounded like a gun fight in the street outside, well I say "we" both Pauline and Tyler could sleep through anything and today was no exception. So I went outside to check out what was happening and there was a funeral procession on the street with everyone throwing fire crackers on the floor and a brass band, it was an incredible sight but one can't help wondering why they chose to be buried at 06:30. I guess they hated their neighbours and this was their last chance at getting their own back.
Der cruise ist gut ja!
Tuesday 26th October
We have just arrived in Guilin after one of the most tedious train journey's to date. We were unable to secure any beds for the journey so had to make do with hard seats, however nobody could tell us how long the journey was and as usual the train carriage was over subscribed.
We had been assigned seats in two rows and I had the pleasure of sharing my row with a gay elderly chinese man and his teenage boyfriend who seemed intent on getting jiggy with it in full view of the trains overly tollerant passangers.
I am fairly sure that they would have ripped each others clothers off then and there if it hadnt been for the rather restrictive space limitations. Fortunately they got off (not literally) after a few hours and as per usual someone jumped into their seats before they had made it to the door. Still these ones seemed a little less frisky so it was all good!
As it turns out the train journey was just over 15 hours, during which time we changed seats no leass than 3 times, had to endure the dulcit tones of multiple wannabe opera singers screaming down the carriage with their trolleys of dubious looking food stuffs and try to get some sleep under the ultra powerful florescent lighting that would have been more suited to wembley stadium. Needless to say we failed miserably, that is except for Tyler who seems to have the ability to sleep anywhere, anytime, lucky git!
Its been a few days since I have been able to post so I guess I should also fill you in on the Yangtze cruise we took from Chongqing to Yichang.
Cruises attract a certain type of clientele, in our case this meant Germans, lots and lots of Germans! In fact out of the 100 odd passangers sailing their were only a spattering of english speakers and as a result we were all allocated one table for all of the meals which was good!
The 3 gorges cruise very almost got renamed to the 1 gorge cruise after a very large landslide closed the entryway to the 3rd gorge (our pickup point for the 2nd gorge) and instead the boat had to stay in port whilst they tried to clear a path through. Luckily they managed to rearrange the pickup for the 2nd gorge and we disembarked for a 4 hour trip up and down the valley when we would once again return to our boat and wait for news of whether or not we could continue.
I am not sure if you agree but I think there are only so many photos that one can take of a specific thing, and for hills and valleys this number is pretty low for me. Whilst the scenery was spectacular at points, I had pretty much had my fill after a couple of hours and for the most part we just chilled out with the other english speaking tourists.
After a little over 8 hours our ship was given the all clear to proceed through the gorge, although it meant that all of the vessels had to proceed in single file which would delay the remainder of our itinerary.
Still the cruise was a great way to relax after the non stop hussle and bussle of the cities and the 3 gorges dam was an incredible sight, even, as it turned out to be, at 02:00 am.
Whilst aboard we met two Austrian girls who were on a tour of China and we shared a train with them to Wuhan, this time with no seats at all which meant taking pot luck as soon as you saw someone rise from theirs.
They also taught us that you can barter over the price of hotel rooms. The science behind this is pretty complex so try to stick with me but the way I understand it is this, you go up to the receptionist and say "I would like a discount" and then they just slash the prices.
Confusing I know but I have seen this in practice and I can assure you
that it's true.
We have just arrived in Guilin after one of the most tedious train journey's to date. We were unable to secure any beds for the journey so had to make do with hard seats, however nobody could tell us how long the journey was and as usual the train carriage was over subscribed.
We had been assigned seats in two rows and I had the pleasure of sharing my row with a gay elderly chinese man and his teenage boyfriend who seemed intent on getting jiggy with it in full view of the trains overly tollerant passangers.
I am fairly sure that they would have ripped each others clothers off then and there if it hadnt been for the rather restrictive space limitations. Fortunately they got off (not literally) after a few hours and as per usual someone jumped into their seats before they had made it to the door. Still these ones seemed a little less frisky so it was all good!
As it turns out the train journey was just over 15 hours, during which time we changed seats no leass than 3 times, had to endure the dulcit tones of multiple wannabe opera singers screaming down the carriage with their trolleys of dubious looking food stuffs and try to get some sleep under the ultra powerful florescent lighting that would have been more suited to wembley stadium. Needless to say we failed miserably, that is except for Tyler who seems to have the ability to sleep anywhere, anytime, lucky git!
Its been a few days since I have been able to post so I guess I should also fill you in on the Yangtze cruise we took from Chongqing to Yichang.
Cruises attract a certain type of clientele, in our case this meant Germans, lots and lots of Germans! In fact out of the 100 odd passangers sailing their were only a spattering of english speakers and as a result we were all allocated one table for all of the meals which was good!
The 3 gorges cruise very almost got renamed to the 1 gorge cruise after a very large landslide closed the entryway to the 3rd gorge (our pickup point for the 2nd gorge) and instead the boat had to stay in port whilst they tried to clear a path through. Luckily they managed to rearrange the pickup for the 2nd gorge and we disembarked for a 4 hour trip up and down the valley when we would once again return to our boat and wait for news of whether or not we could continue.
I am not sure if you agree but I think there are only so many photos that one can take of a specific thing, and for hills and valleys this number is pretty low for me. Whilst the scenery was spectacular at points, I had pretty much had my fill after a couple of hours and for the most part we just chilled out with the other english speaking tourists.
After a little over 8 hours our ship was given the all clear to proceed through the gorge, although it meant that all of the vessels had to proceed in single file which would delay the remainder of our itinerary.
Still the cruise was a great way to relax after the non stop hussle and bussle of the cities and the 3 gorges dam was an incredible sight, even, as it turned out to be, at 02:00 am.
Whilst aboard we met two Austrian girls who were on a tour of China and we shared a train with them to Wuhan, this time with no seats at all which meant taking pot luck as soon as you saw someone rise from theirs.
They also taught us that you can barter over the price of hotel rooms. The science behind this is pretty complex so try to stick with me but the way I understand it is this, you go up to the receptionist and say "I would like a discount" and then they just slash the prices.
Confusing I know but I have seen this in practice and I can assure you
that it's true.
Monday, 25 October 2010
Relaxing massage?
Friday 22nd October
Well we made the cruise, albeit 2 stone lighter from dragging our backpacks around the streets of Chengdu!
Yesterday we decided to relax at one of the many hot spring complex's near to the city centre, we figured it would be a good idea to unwind before the stress of figuring out where our ship was.
The place was huge with a variety of different pools depending on your individual tastes, the largest of which was a fair sized swimming pool that was around bath temperature and they just got hotter and hotter from there.
There was also a pool brimming with doctor fish that eat all dead skin off of your body, they started off as tiny little tadpoles but had a field day on me and must have looked like whales by the time I got out. Its the weirdest sensation having hundreds of fish decending onto every visible body part but I got totally addicted and was completely submerged after being there for a few minutes.
I even managed to convince Pauline that it was a good idea and to her credit after a few moments where she looked as though Jaws was about to engulf her in one bite, she finally managed to convince herself that it was pretty cool too!
After this I decided to get a full body massage from a tiny little chinese girl who seemed to be somewhat bored and desperate for something to do. This is where I learnt that looks can be very deciving, not only did she have hands and arms made from lead but she also seemed to be highly skilled in wrestling manouvers and was intent to try out each of them on my somewhat pasty, unprepared exterior.
At one point she made me roll onto my back and started to push heavily on my belly, then she sort of just wobbled it a lot, I am fairly certain that this wasnt part of the massage at all, its just that she had never before seen anything quite like it.
Then she invented a game to see if she could push her thumbs through the top of my skull and believe me it felt like she came unbelievebly close a few times. Once she got bored of this she moved on to my ears, sticking her entire finger into both of them and then proceeding to rub my hair all over. Whilst from my viewpoint I was unable to confirm this, I have visions of large hunks of earwax being massaged into my hair a breakneck speeds.
Finally she decided that it would be a good idea to see if she could pull each of my fingers off individually, the woman had the strength of 10 men and I started to contemplate going through the rest of my life as a stumpy. Just as I reached the point when I no longer had the will power to move, she tapped me on the shoulder, grinned inately and asked me to pay!
Due to the fact that I was so happy to be off of the torture table I too smiled through the tears and gave her a tip before limping off a broken man.
Still after her beating all of my skin to a pulp there was more food for the fish so I dived straight back in, content in the fact that they wouldnt have to be fed again this year.
Well we made the cruise, albeit 2 stone lighter from dragging our backpacks around the streets of Chengdu!
Yesterday we decided to relax at one of the many hot spring complex's near to the city centre, we figured it would be a good idea to unwind before the stress of figuring out where our ship was.
The place was huge with a variety of different pools depending on your individual tastes, the largest of which was a fair sized swimming pool that was around bath temperature and they just got hotter and hotter from there.
There was also a pool brimming with doctor fish that eat all dead skin off of your body, they started off as tiny little tadpoles but had a field day on me and must have looked like whales by the time I got out. Its the weirdest sensation having hundreds of fish decending onto every visible body part but I got totally addicted and was completely submerged after being there for a few minutes.
I even managed to convince Pauline that it was a good idea and to her credit after a few moments where she looked as though Jaws was about to engulf her in one bite, she finally managed to convince herself that it was pretty cool too!
After this I decided to get a full body massage from a tiny little chinese girl who seemed to be somewhat bored and desperate for something to do. This is where I learnt that looks can be very deciving, not only did she have hands and arms made from lead but she also seemed to be highly skilled in wrestling manouvers and was intent to try out each of them on my somewhat pasty, unprepared exterior.
At one point she made me roll onto my back and started to push heavily on my belly, then she sort of just wobbled it a lot, I am fairly certain that this wasnt part of the massage at all, its just that she had never before seen anything quite like it.
Then she invented a game to see if she could push her thumbs through the top of my skull and believe me it felt like she came unbelievebly close a few times. Once she got bored of this she moved on to my ears, sticking her entire finger into both of them and then proceeding to rub my hair all over. Whilst from my viewpoint I was unable to confirm this, I have visions of large hunks of earwax being massaged into my hair a breakneck speeds.
Finally she decided that it would be a good idea to see if she could pull each of my fingers off individually, the woman had the strength of 10 men and I started to contemplate going through the rest of my life as a stumpy. Just as I reached the point when I no longer had the will power to move, she tapped me on the shoulder, grinned inately and asked me to pay!
Due to the fact that I was so happy to be off of the torture table I too smiled through the tears and gave her a tip before limping off a broken man.
Still after her beating all of my skin to a pulp there was more food for the fish so I dived straight back in, content in the fact that they wouldnt have to be fed again this year.
Wednesday, 20 October 2010
Quiet, The dead are tryig to slep!
Thursday 21st October
Its been a few days since my last post and this is mostly down to laziness on my part as opposed to not having anything to write about so I apologise.
We are currently in Chongqing waiting to embark on a Yangtze river cruise later this evening. This in tiself has been a bit of a mission as we spent the majority of yesterday trying to find the tour office for our tickets only to be told they had moved premesis (in fact we were told to wait in reception for 30 minutes first before we were told that they had moved).
We eventually found them after asking practically all of the local residents, only to be told that we have to go back there at 17:30 today to get everything, however that means trapsing the hectic streets of Chongqing with our luggage which is definately not ideal.
Also as we hadnt originally considered a cruise we hadnt looked into where it was going to drop us off, which as it turns out is a pit called Yichang with very little to do and next to no transport links.
Still hopefully everything will sort itself out!
Before we left Chengdu we paid a visit to the Happy Valley amusement park, we were told to jump on a bus to get there and although this statement was almost correct it turns out that "there" is about 2 miles from the park in the middle of an industrial estate.
After searching high and low for a taxi we jumped into one of the many tuk tuks that were lining the streets outside the bus station and paid 4 times the bus fare for a 10th of the journey.
Still we made it in one bit and the park was fun. Tyler had to pay half price although the only thing he could really go on were the toilets and a little train rollercoaster, but he seemed to enjoy himself as he was getting the usual attention from the locals.
They were also celebrating Halloween and around ever corner there was some random corpse hanging from a tree or stuck to a pole with its entrails swinging in the wind. One street we went down had corpses lining each side with brand new t-shirts on, so not only were they better dressed than us but they didnt smell as bad either.
We went onto the river rapids and looked on in amusement as all of the people diligently brought their little ponchos and spent ages tying them around themselves, when we reached the front we were instructed to put some on too (luckily i had a couple in my backpack for just such an occasion).
We couldnt understand why they were going to these extremes, that is until we were actually on it, ohh my god, it turns out the ponchos I had were a lot smaller and a lot less water proof than theirs. The finale of the ride unceremoniously dumps the equivalent volume of the atlantic ocean onto your heads in 4 unrelentless rounds, and so it was that we spent the remainder of the day leaving giant soggy wet patches on whatever we touched or sat on.
So a tip for anyone that ever goes there, the poncho's are worth their weight in gold, dont lul yourself into a false sense of security by noting, as i did, that everyone that comes off of the ride is bone dry!
Whilst Pauline was on the rollercoaster, Tyler and I took a wander down the shopping street and outside in one of the gardens there was a giant gravestone which proudly announced "Quiet: The dead are tryig to slep" which made both of us chuckle.
We have seen some great phrases since we have been in China such as "Electronic dirt", "Beef Tenderloins with Acid Trips" and one of my personal favorites "You can enjoy the fresh air after civilised urinating" which was on a toilet cubicle at the giant Buddah park.
Its been a few days since my last post and this is mostly down to laziness on my part as opposed to not having anything to write about so I apologise.
We are currently in Chongqing waiting to embark on a Yangtze river cruise later this evening. This in tiself has been a bit of a mission as we spent the majority of yesterday trying to find the tour office for our tickets only to be told they had moved premesis (in fact we were told to wait in reception for 30 minutes first before we were told that they had moved).
We eventually found them after asking practically all of the local residents, only to be told that we have to go back there at 17:30 today to get everything, however that means trapsing the hectic streets of Chongqing with our luggage which is definately not ideal.
Also as we hadnt originally considered a cruise we hadnt looked into where it was going to drop us off, which as it turns out is a pit called Yichang with very little to do and next to no transport links.
Still hopefully everything will sort itself out!
Before we left Chengdu we paid a visit to the Happy Valley amusement park, we were told to jump on a bus to get there and although this statement was almost correct it turns out that "there" is about 2 miles from the park in the middle of an industrial estate.
After searching high and low for a taxi we jumped into one of the many tuk tuks that were lining the streets outside the bus station and paid 4 times the bus fare for a 10th of the journey.
Still we made it in one bit and the park was fun. Tyler had to pay half price although the only thing he could really go on were the toilets and a little train rollercoaster, but he seemed to enjoy himself as he was getting the usual attention from the locals.
They were also celebrating Halloween and around ever corner there was some random corpse hanging from a tree or stuck to a pole with its entrails swinging in the wind. One street we went down had corpses lining each side with brand new t-shirts on, so not only were they better dressed than us but they didnt smell as bad either.
We went onto the river rapids and looked on in amusement as all of the people diligently brought their little ponchos and spent ages tying them around themselves, when we reached the front we were instructed to put some on too (luckily i had a couple in my backpack for just such an occasion).
We couldnt understand why they were going to these extremes, that is until we were actually on it, ohh my god, it turns out the ponchos I had were a lot smaller and a lot less water proof than theirs. The finale of the ride unceremoniously dumps the equivalent volume of the atlantic ocean onto your heads in 4 unrelentless rounds, and so it was that we spent the remainder of the day leaving giant soggy wet patches on whatever we touched or sat on.
So a tip for anyone that ever goes there, the poncho's are worth their weight in gold, dont lul yourself into a false sense of security by noting, as i did, that everyone that comes off of the ride is bone dry!
Whilst Pauline was on the rollercoaster, Tyler and I took a wander down the shopping street and outside in one of the gardens there was a giant gravestone which proudly announced "Quiet: The dead are tryig to slep" which made both of us chuckle.
We have seen some great phrases since we have been in China such as "Electronic dirt", "Beef Tenderloins with Acid Trips" and one of my personal favorites "You can enjoy the fresh air after civilised urinating" which was on a toilet cubicle at the giant Buddah park.
Saturday, 16 October 2010
The Leshan not so giant Tyler
Saturday 16th October
Well I finally managed to upload some photos to the photo pages for anyone that is interested! Slowly but surely I am finding little loop holes that allow me to access the websites I need!
Yesterday we ventured down to the Leshan giant Buddah, which is apparently one of the greatest feats of mankind, although you would'nt think it for some of the chinese!
We had opted to hire a mini van with the Swedish girls that we had met in Xi'an as it saved the hassle of trying to figure out the many different buses needed to get there. It worked out to be about 100 Yuan per person but before they would allow us to book it they made us sign a document detailing the specific ways you could die on the way and that if this were to happen then our Hostel could deny all knowledge of us (a little scary to say the least).
Blowing caution to the wind we diligently signed our lives away and at 06:30 precisely our driver and beaten up minivan were stationed outside the hostel waiting for us. I am very glad that we did it this way as the fog was horrendous and we came very close to reinacting at least 2 of the ways to die that we had read about on the booking form.
The entrance fee was about 90 Yuan and after paying we joined the mass of people makiing their way to the top of the Buddah where the queue for the viewing platform at the bottom began.
In order to reach the bottom you need to decend down a very steep set of single file stairs, however the journey was akin to a level from a super mario brothers game. Every time you had a chance to move a 4 foot stealth granny with sprightly legs jumped into the space in front of you making it impossible to go forward, whilst at the same time an army of pushy chinese tourists ensured that you were not able to stand still.
Thanks to a combination of gravity and brute force we managed to reach the bottom without too many bruises, to gape at the spectacle in front of us. Not the worlds largest giant Buddah, nah these are ten a penny, I am in fact referring to the mass of local girls who seemed intent on being the first person to have their picture taken with Tyler.
Not once did I see any of them look up or take a picture of the Buddah, which is ashame as my camera started to die as soon as we got there and I could really have used a few good shots!
Tylers was even accosted by a couple of the girls and positioned at various scenic spots along the way for yet more photographs! I am hoping that none of them had a school assignment associated with this as I have a terrible feeling their teachers will not be amused.
Once they had received their fix of photos they presented Tyler with a ready to eat chickens foot for all of his hard work, so that made it all worth while!
The three Swedish girls that accompanied us also seemed to be getting their fair share of attention, even Pauline got asked a couple fo times for a photo and yet for some reason not one person approached me. I can only put this down to them being in awe of my new hair cut and not wanting to get too near incase my super quiff managed to damage their camera lens.
Just as we had began to recover from the craziness of climbing down to the viewing platform, we had the daunting prospect of climbing back up to the top through a similar maze of steps, old ladies and other obstacles designed to ensure that you really got your moneys worth.
Well I finally managed to upload some photos to the photo pages for anyone that is interested! Slowly but surely I am finding little loop holes that allow me to access the websites I need!
Yesterday we ventured down to the Leshan giant Buddah, which is apparently one of the greatest feats of mankind, although you would'nt think it for some of the chinese!
We had opted to hire a mini van with the Swedish girls that we had met in Xi'an as it saved the hassle of trying to figure out the many different buses needed to get there. It worked out to be about 100 Yuan per person but before they would allow us to book it they made us sign a document detailing the specific ways you could die on the way and that if this were to happen then our Hostel could deny all knowledge of us (a little scary to say the least).
Blowing caution to the wind we diligently signed our lives away and at 06:30 precisely our driver and beaten up minivan were stationed outside the hostel waiting for us. I am very glad that we did it this way as the fog was horrendous and we came very close to reinacting at least 2 of the ways to die that we had read about on the booking form.
The entrance fee was about 90 Yuan and after paying we joined the mass of people makiing their way to the top of the Buddah where the queue for the viewing platform at the bottom began.
In order to reach the bottom you need to decend down a very steep set of single file stairs, however the journey was akin to a level from a super mario brothers game. Every time you had a chance to move a 4 foot stealth granny with sprightly legs jumped into the space in front of you making it impossible to go forward, whilst at the same time an army of pushy chinese tourists ensured that you were not able to stand still.
Thanks to a combination of gravity and brute force we managed to reach the bottom without too many bruises, to gape at the spectacle in front of us. Not the worlds largest giant Buddah, nah these are ten a penny, I am in fact referring to the mass of local girls who seemed intent on being the first person to have their picture taken with Tyler.
Not once did I see any of them look up or take a picture of the Buddah, which is ashame as my camera started to die as soon as we got there and I could really have used a few good shots!
Tylers was even accosted by a couple of the girls and positioned at various scenic spots along the way for yet more photographs! I am hoping that none of them had a school assignment associated with this as I have a terrible feeling their teachers will not be amused.
Once they had received their fix of photos they presented Tyler with a ready to eat chickens foot for all of his hard work, so that made it all worth while!
The three Swedish girls that accompanied us also seemed to be getting their fair share of attention, even Pauline got asked a couple fo times for a photo and yet for some reason not one person approached me. I can only put this down to them being in awe of my new hair cut and not wanting to get too near incase my super quiff managed to damage their camera lens.
Just as we had began to recover from the craziness of climbing down to the viewing platform, we had the daunting prospect of climbing back up to the top through a similar maze of steps, old ladies and other obstacles designed to ensure that you really got your moneys worth.
What do you say to a bear with 2 black eyes? Nothing he's already been told twice :-)
Friday 15th October
Sorry for the bad pun, but we went to the Panda sanctuary this morning and I just could'nt resist!
The place was teeming with the fury little critters many of whom had a fixation with scratching their genitals and lounging about doing very little indeed, which got me thinking that perhaps I was a Panda in a previous life.
It also crossed my mind that as they are totally monochrome they could sit there photocopying their butts all day for practically no money at all, however their lesser cousins the red pandas would rack up a hell of a bill as colour copies are practically double the cost.
Anyway, after this I had one of the strangest experiences of my life. I had a haircut!
We passed a barbers whilst walking around aimlessly trying to find a temple that had closed by the time we got there so I figured why the hell not. We enquired about the price to one of the many barbers standing outside chatting and in perfect english he replied, "30 Yuan" which is about 3 pounds.
So it was that I was hussled in through the entrance, grabbed by a smiley young lady and forced to lie down on a reclining seat, not exactly your usual start to a short back and sides. Still I gave the place the benefit of the doubt and then the strangest thing happened, she started to massage my head, not just a 5 minute temple rub, this was a full on head massage that lasted just under an hour, during which time I had my hair washed no less that 5 times and my head slapped about like a boxer.
I was then hearded into the barbers chair and looked up expectantly into the eyes of the somewhat camp hairdresser we had spoken to on the way in. This is when it dawned on me that he only knew 2 words of English! I have no idea what his school were thinking but roaming the streets of Chengdu there is potentailly a mass of his schoolmates who's sole grasp of the english language is the phrase "30 Yuan".
In order to get an idea of exactly how I was feeling right then you would need to try to put yourself in my shoes. You are in a very small barbers chair, draped in a dayglow yellow bib, being overlooked by a 20 something youth wielding a sharp implement in one hand, glaring down at you with an expression that is a mixture of both pity and doubt.
Needless to say it was a slightly surreal experience, but somehow I managed through the means of interprative hand gestures and a seires of overenthusiastic nods to provide some vague guidance of exactly what it was that I was looking for.
He then proceeded to analyse each individual hair before he begun to perform his artistic magic. Artistic magic is however a very loose term for what he actually produced, in hairdressing circles they would simply call it a super elvis quiff accompanied by half a shave. Yes thats right, he started to shave the right hand side of my face but seemed to have completely lost interest by the time he reached the other side (my head being so big 'n all).
Naturally I did what any red blooded English man would do, I smiled, thanked him, gave him a tip, shook his hand and walked out with my head held high sporting a quiff that blocked out the sun from my eyes and a fully grown half beard!
I had enter the establishment as a mere mortal but upon leaving I had been transformed into "SUPER QUIFF MAN" fighting the criminal elements of ChengDu armed with a slight razor rash and a telescopic hairpiece.
Strangely I have become so accustomed to people staring at me out here that I didnt really notice any difference in peoples shocked glances and you never know, next time I come out here the look may have caught on.
Sorry for the bad pun, but we went to the Panda sanctuary this morning and I just could'nt resist!
The place was teeming with the fury little critters many of whom had a fixation with scratching their genitals and lounging about doing very little indeed, which got me thinking that perhaps I was a Panda in a previous life.
It also crossed my mind that as they are totally monochrome they could sit there photocopying their butts all day for practically no money at all, however their lesser cousins the red pandas would rack up a hell of a bill as colour copies are practically double the cost.
Anyway, after this I had one of the strangest experiences of my life. I had a haircut!
We passed a barbers whilst walking around aimlessly trying to find a temple that had closed by the time we got there so I figured why the hell not. We enquired about the price to one of the many barbers standing outside chatting and in perfect english he replied, "30 Yuan" which is about 3 pounds.
So it was that I was hussled in through the entrance, grabbed by a smiley young lady and forced to lie down on a reclining seat, not exactly your usual start to a short back and sides. Still I gave the place the benefit of the doubt and then the strangest thing happened, she started to massage my head, not just a 5 minute temple rub, this was a full on head massage that lasted just under an hour, during which time I had my hair washed no less that 5 times and my head slapped about like a boxer.
I was then hearded into the barbers chair and looked up expectantly into the eyes of the somewhat camp hairdresser we had spoken to on the way in. This is when it dawned on me that he only knew 2 words of English! I have no idea what his school were thinking but roaming the streets of Chengdu there is potentailly a mass of his schoolmates who's sole grasp of the english language is the phrase "30 Yuan".
In order to get an idea of exactly how I was feeling right then you would need to try to put yourself in my shoes. You are in a very small barbers chair, draped in a dayglow yellow bib, being overlooked by a 20 something youth wielding a sharp implement in one hand, glaring down at you with an expression that is a mixture of both pity and doubt.
Needless to say it was a slightly surreal experience, but somehow I managed through the means of interprative hand gestures and a seires of overenthusiastic nods to provide some vague guidance of exactly what it was that I was looking for.
He then proceeded to analyse each individual hair before he begun to perform his artistic magic. Artistic magic is however a very loose term for what he actually produced, in hairdressing circles they would simply call it a super elvis quiff accompanied by half a shave. Yes thats right, he started to shave the right hand side of my face but seemed to have completely lost interest by the time he reached the other side (my head being so big 'n all).
Naturally I did what any red blooded English man would do, I smiled, thanked him, gave him a tip, shook his hand and walked out with my head held high sporting a quiff that blocked out the sun from my eyes and a fully grown half beard!
I had enter the establishment as a mere mortal but upon leaving I had been transformed into "SUPER QUIFF MAN" fighting the criminal elements of ChengDu armed with a slight razor rash and a telescopic hairpiece.
Strangely I have become so accustomed to people staring at me out here that I didnt really notice any difference in peoples shocked glances and you never know, next time I come out here the look may have caught on.
Wednesday, 13 October 2010
Very public loos
Thursday 14th October
I walked in on yet another woman taking a crap this morning, they seem to have an aversion to using the locks so its always a bit of a lottery going in. It is also nigh on impossible to convey the look of abject horror that is written across both of our faces as that precise moment.
Suffice to say it really isn't a comfortable situation for either party involved but at least they have reached the stage of closing the door on the train. In most of the public toilets in xi'an all of the cubicles would be wide open, full of men reading news papers and talking on the mobile phone whilst hovering over the loo.
Ohh yeah that's right i forgot to mention that the loo's are basically holes in the floor so you have to levitate over them, now couple that with a moving train compartment and it makes for a highly entertaining pass time On the plus side though after a bout of food poisoning my legs are looking pretty damn fine and more defined than ever before.
It also just struck me that yesterday was our 1 month travelling anniversary, it's scary how fast it has gone so far, we are clueless as to how long it will last but are enjoying it until it stops.
I walked in on yet another woman taking a crap this morning, they seem to have an aversion to using the locks so its always a bit of a lottery going in. It is also nigh on impossible to convey the look of abject horror that is written across both of our faces as that precise moment.
Suffice to say it really isn't a comfortable situation for either party involved but at least they have reached the stage of closing the door on the train. In most of the public toilets in xi'an all of the cubicles would be wide open, full of men reading news papers and talking on the mobile phone whilst hovering over the loo.
Ohh yeah that's right i forgot to mention that the loo's are basically holes in the floor so you have to levitate over them, now couple that with a moving train compartment and it makes for a highly entertaining pass time On the plus side though after a bout of food poisoning my legs are looking pretty damn fine and more defined than ever before.
It also just struck me that yesterday was our 1 month travelling anniversary, it's scary how fast it has gone so far, we are clueless as to how long it will last but are enjoying it until it stops.
Acidbot Bingy II the revenge
Wednesday 13th October
Ok, I may have been a little premature in my praise of the wonderful soup we had. I have been sick as a dog all day today and to make matters worse we will soon be having to climb aboard a train to Chengdu and endure their far less than sanitary public conveniences. Not an overly pleasant prospect to say the least, still it could be worse I guess, i could be sharing with underwear guy again.
Wednesday 13th October (a little bit later)
Well we made the train and thus far it appears to be devoid of any fat blokes, but the night is young and who knows what wonders await us. This train seems to be better than the last one too, not in the toilet department alas but in the overall carriage. We still have six beds in our section but this time they only have partition walls between them making the whole carriage more airy. One obvious downside to this is of course a complete and utter lack of privacy but if people want to watch the fat white man sleep then that's fine by me. I will try my best to squeeze out the English national anthem for them too if I can because this seems somewhat fitting.
Other than that it's much the same as any other train so instead of boring you any more I intend to fill in the space with a little tidbit.
I recently downloaded a basic mandarin app that I have been using with a vengeance, it allows me to repeat "this tastes very good" over and over again until my hearts content (which as it turns out is a very very long time indeed).
It also allows me to say the great phrase "can you give me a photo" which I thoroughly intend to try out soon just to see what happens, I will have to pick my targets carefully though as the last thing I want is glossy's of underwear guy.
The app isn't without its limitations though, for example one glaringly obvious omission is the phrase "thank you" which has forced us to continue shouting it out slowly in English T-H-A-N-K-E-E-Y-O-U whilst maintaining a stupidly innate grin on our faces.
Ok I think that's enough for today take care all!
Ok, I may have been a little premature in my praise of the wonderful soup we had. I have been sick as a dog all day today and to make matters worse we will soon be having to climb aboard a train to Chengdu and endure their far less than sanitary public conveniences. Not an overly pleasant prospect to say the least, still it could be worse I guess, i could be sharing with underwear guy again.
Wednesday 13th October (a little bit later)
Well we made the train and thus far it appears to be devoid of any fat blokes, but the night is young and who knows what wonders await us. This train seems to be better than the last one too, not in the toilet department alas but in the overall carriage. We still have six beds in our section but this time they only have partition walls between them making the whole carriage more airy. One obvious downside to this is of course a complete and utter lack of privacy but if people want to watch the fat white man sleep then that's fine by me. I will try my best to squeeze out the English national anthem for them too if I can because this seems somewhat fitting.
Other than that it's much the same as any other train so instead of boring you any more I intend to fill in the space with a little tidbit.
I recently downloaded a basic mandarin app that I have been using with a vengeance, it allows me to repeat "this tastes very good" over and over again until my hearts content (which as it turns out is a very very long time indeed).
It also allows me to say the great phrase "can you give me a photo" which I thoroughly intend to try out soon just to see what happens, I will have to pick my targets carefully though as the last thing I want is glossy's of underwear guy.
The app isn't without its limitations though, for example one glaringly obvious omission is the phrase "thank you" which has forced us to continue shouting it out slowly in English T-H-A-N-K-E-E-Y-O-U whilst maintaining a stupidly innate grin on our faces.
Ok I think that's enough for today take care all!
Tuesday, 12 October 2010
The rain in Xi'an falls mostly on the stupid English tourists
Tuesday 12th October
Urrggghh how crappy do I feel this morning? We were all up until gone midnight last night drinking with some Swedish and polish girls in the hostel. Tyler was in his element with his "hello ladies" t-shirt on (a present from our friends in cranfield). He literally showed it to every woman we passed throughout the day and has built up a vast array of stories to woo all of the girls he meets.
We had gone to see the terracotta army and the tour guide (ja ja) took a particular shine to him, grabbing his arm at every opportunity to drag him off to different parts of the complex. The place was really cool, far larger than I had imagined and it seems that they haven't really started to survey the area yet so don't really have any idea of what else is buried there.
There are currently 4 known pits that have a range of finds buried within them, the unexcevated portions had an array of arms, legs, heads and horse butts just waiting for someone to free them from their shallow graves. We sniggered away at the horse butts (I believe this is customary and we wanted to fit in) before heading off to the main pit 1 which has some 2000 warriors that have been unearthed.
The guy who discovered the first warrior was a local farmer and the government paid him 10 Yuan for his discovery (approximately 1 pound), however since then he has made a fortune from the place. We had the privilege to meet him as he was signing books in the shop and I have to say he is a grumpy old bastard. I guess having spent the last 20 odd years sitting in a souvenir shop has taken it's toll on the old codger but still a smile wouldn't go amiss every now and again.
Still we diligently brought his books and he dutifully signed away, for all I know it could have said "I bloody hate tourists" and he had a glint in his eye that indicated a desire for us to bugger off as fast as possible.
For lunch we were treated to the culinary delights of the local tourist shit hole that seemed to have a speciality for grime coated table wear and little else. We quickly wolfed down as much mystery meat and neon cabbage as possible before being herded into the adjoining rip off market so that we could spend our ha rd earned tourist dollars on yet more one of a kind tat.
My negotiating skills seemed to have been honed a little since my last encounter and I actually managed to knock a merchant down from120 Yuan to 40 for a fat buddha head that was probably worth 20.
With a lingering taste of MSG in our mouths from our lunch banquet we figured the best bet would be to drink our way through it as soon as we got back to the hostel (one of the few things that has actually gone to plan thus far).
So today has been a bit of a wipe out, we needed to get our train tickets sorted for our next destination and asked the hostel owner for advice, he quickly drew out a detailed map to the local ticket office about five minutes away. 2 hours later we started to consider the possibility that we may have taken a wrong turn somewhere along the line, we had found a little booth that purportedly did sell tickets but the fat angry man contained within just pointed us in the direction we had just come from and couldn't offer any assistance.
So it was that 3 hours after we had originally set out on our 10 minute round trip we wound up back at our hostel with our tails between our legs acting like dumb foreigners and asking for help. This is the good bit, it turns out the hostel worker that gave us directions sent us to the wrong place, ohh how we all laughed, so much merriment ensued that nobody could register the tears welling up in my eyes or the fact that my arms seemed to have a craving to be firmly coiled around his neck.
Still after all of this entertainment, what we needed now was a nice walk in the opposite direction down the same street to find the tickets again, ohh yeah also I forgot to mention that it was absolutely bucketing it down. It's been the first day of rain since we set off but it was relentless.
We finally secured three tickets for tomorrow afternoon and meandered around the main square for a bit, we were soaked through and saw no point of heading back to the hostel because of the safety concerns (there was still a strong possibility I may actually strangle someone)
We headed down to the Muslim quarter for some food with one of the girls we had met, mini was from the US and spoke mandarin, although considering the place we ended up in that offered very little help to her. We ended up with a rather delightful dish called Acidbot Bingy soup, none of us had any idea what the hell it was but it tasted great. We had loads of other dishes with less cool names and for the 4 of us the bill came to just over £5, it just seems to be getting cheaper and cheaper here.
Right off to bed for an early night and hopefully a lay in although highly doubtful with a 7 year old in the same room.
Urrggghh how crappy do I feel this morning? We were all up until gone midnight last night drinking with some Swedish and polish girls in the hostel. Tyler was in his element with his "hello ladies" t-shirt on (a present from our friends in cranfield). He literally showed it to every woman we passed throughout the day and has built up a vast array of stories to woo all of the girls he meets.
We had gone to see the terracotta army and the tour guide (ja ja) took a particular shine to him, grabbing his arm at every opportunity to drag him off to different parts of the complex. The place was really cool, far larger than I had imagined and it seems that they haven't really started to survey the area yet so don't really have any idea of what else is buried there.
There are currently 4 known pits that have a range of finds buried within them, the unexcevated portions had an array of arms, legs, heads and horse butts just waiting for someone to free them from their shallow graves. We sniggered away at the horse butts (I believe this is customary and we wanted to fit in) before heading off to the main pit 1 which has some 2000 warriors that have been unearthed.
The guy who discovered the first warrior was a local farmer and the government paid him 10 Yuan for his discovery (approximately 1 pound), however since then he has made a fortune from the place. We had the privilege to meet him as he was signing books in the shop and I have to say he is a grumpy old bastard. I guess having spent the last 20 odd years sitting in a souvenir shop has taken it's toll on the old codger but still a smile wouldn't go amiss every now and again.
Still we diligently brought his books and he dutifully signed away, for all I know it could have said "I bloody hate tourists" and he had a glint in his eye that indicated a desire for us to bugger off as fast as possible.
For lunch we were treated to the culinary delights of the local tourist shit hole that seemed to have a speciality for grime coated table wear and little else. We quickly wolfed down as much mystery meat and neon cabbage as possible before being herded into the adjoining rip off market so that we could spend our ha rd earned tourist dollars on yet more one of a kind tat.
My negotiating skills seemed to have been honed a little since my last encounter and I actually managed to knock a merchant down from120 Yuan to 40 for a fat buddha head that was probably worth 20.
With a lingering taste of MSG in our mouths from our lunch banquet we figured the best bet would be to drink our way through it as soon as we got back to the hostel (one of the few things that has actually gone to plan thus far).
So today has been a bit of a wipe out, we needed to get our train tickets sorted for our next destination and asked the hostel owner for advice, he quickly drew out a detailed map to the local ticket office about five minutes away. 2 hours later we started to consider the possibility that we may have taken a wrong turn somewhere along the line, we had found a little booth that purportedly did sell tickets but the fat angry man contained within just pointed us in the direction we had just come from and couldn't offer any assistance.
So it was that 3 hours after we had originally set out on our 10 minute round trip we wound up back at our hostel with our tails between our legs acting like dumb foreigners and asking for help. This is the good bit, it turns out the hostel worker that gave us directions sent us to the wrong place, ohh how we all laughed, so much merriment ensued that nobody could register the tears welling up in my eyes or the fact that my arms seemed to have a craving to be firmly coiled around his neck.
Still after all of this entertainment, what we needed now was a nice walk in the opposite direction down the same street to find the tickets again, ohh yeah also I forgot to mention that it was absolutely bucketing it down. It's been the first day of rain since we set off but it was relentless.
We finally secured three tickets for tomorrow afternoon and meandered around the main square for a bit, we were soaked through and saw no point of heading back to the hostel because of the safety concerns (there was still a strong possibility I may actually strangle someone)
We headed down to the Muslim quarter for some food with one of the girls we had met, mini was from the US and spoke mandarin, although considering the place we ended up in that offered very little help to her. We ended up with a rather delightful dish called Acidbot Bingy soup, none of us had any idea what the hell it was but it tasted great. We had loads of other dishes with less cool names and for the 4 of us the bill came to just over £5, it just seems to be getting cheaper and cheaper here.
Right off to bed for an early night and hopefully a lay in although highly doubtful with a 7 year old in the same room.
Monday, 11 October 2010
The trains are just pants!
Monday 11th October
We spent our last day in Beijing walking around the summer palace, an amazing complex of traditional Chinese buildings that provided a great end to our time here. I would happily recommend anyone to come to Beijing, the people are lovely, there is a multitude of tourist attractions to keep even the most adventurous of tourists entertained and above all it is cheap.
But now we have made it to xi'an and are staying in a fantastic hostel full of travellers that has given us the opportunity to talk to people for the first time in ages.
We had purchased three random tickets at the train station and ended up in the cheapy section of the train. I had the privilege of sharing my compartment with "underwear guy" a rotund older gentleman who was sporting nothing other than a pair of skin tight long johns and a lopsided smile. He had a penchant for farting and seemed to be intent on trumping out the entire national anthem for anyone within earshot. I am sure that he would have considered requests too as his repertoire was vast and extremely well practiced.
The other four guys in my compartment, although not as musically gifted as underwear guy, still tried to compete at various points throughout the night. What ensued was a strangely rhythmic composition of methane fuelled man music that under normal circumstances would probably have lulled even the most stedfast insomniac into a gentle slumber. Not on this train though, this train had other noises that badly wanted to compete with the trumping marathon, such as the trains whizzing passed at 100 miles an hour, the track cracking beneath the weight of the train and the other 200 peoples mobile phones and noisy eating practices creating a cacophony of unpleasantness each vying for attention.
I finally gave up on any prospect of sleep just as the train attendant passed through the carriage with his cart of noisy delights, creating a loud banging sound that provided a dramatic finale for the evenings operatic performance.
I ventured down to where Pauline and Tyler were sleeping, Tyler was snoring as per usual but Pauline looked as though she had also enjoyed last nights musical production as much as I had. We simply looked at each other in a sympathetic manner, nodded and then sat there in stunned silence for the remainder of the journey.
Having said that, it is all but a distant memory now, having had a very enjoyable nights sleep at the hostel and with the prospect of going to see the terracotta army this morning I am full of life.
We had a power cut here yesterday which meant that everyone congregated into a single area and it gave us a chance to catch up with loads of different people. We all headed out to the "du du" restaurant for a banquet that set the three of us back just under ten pounds including drinks.
The food on the entire journey has been exceptional and any hope that I had of losing weight has long been forgotten, I have even started to enjoy tofu which is scary. Also I keep on forgetting to mention the mosquito's which are bloody everywhere and seem to have a particular liking for my blood, potentially because of the alcoholic content and nutritonal value that it provides. Hopefully there will be something left of me to see the rest of China but its early days and I am already starting to look more and more like Joseph Merrick (Elephant man) as each day passes (although some might say that I had already made a pretty good start at that before I left).
We spent our last day in Beijing walking around the summer palace, an amazing complex of traditional Chinese buildings that provided a great end to our time here. I would happily recommend anyone to come to Beijing, the people are lovely, there is a multitude of tourist attractions to keep even the most adventurous of tourists entertained and above all it is cheap.
But now we have made it to xi'an and are staying in a fantastic hostel full of travellers that has given us the opportunity to talk to people for the first time in ages.
We had purchased three random tickets at the train station and ended up in the cheapy section of the train. I had the privilege of sharing my compartment with "underwear guy" a rotund older gentleman who was sporting nothing other than a pair of skin tight long johns and a lopsided smile. He had a penchant for farting and seemed to be intent on trumping out the entire national anthem for anyone within earshot. I am sure that he would have considered requests too as his repertoire was vast and extremely well practiced.
The other four guys in my compartment, although not as musically gifted as underwear guy, still tried to compete at various points throughout the night. What ensued was a strangely rhythmic composition of methane fuelled man music that under normal circumstances would probably have lulled even the most stedfast insomniac into a gentle slumber. Not on this train though, this train had other noises that badly wanted to compete with the trumping marathon, such as the trains whizzing passed at 100 miles an hour, the track cracking beneath the weight of the train and the other 200 peoples mobile phones and noisy eating practices creating a cacophony of unpleasantness each vying for attention.
I finally gave up on any prospect of sleep just as the train attendant passed through the carriage with his cart of noisy delights, creating a loud banging sound that provided a dramatic finale for the evenings operatic performance.
I ventured down to where Pauline and Tyler were sleeping, Tyler was snoring as per usual but Pauline looked as though she had also enjoyed last nights musical production as much as I had. We simply looked at each other in a sympathetic manner, nodded and then sat there in stunned silence for the remainder of the journey.
Having said that, it is all but a distant memory now, having had a very enjoyable nights sleep at the hostel and with the prospect of going to see the terracotta army this morning I am full of life.
We had a power cut here yesterday which meant that everyone congregated into a single area and it gave us a chance to catch up with loads of different people. We all headed out to the "du du" restaurant for a banquet that set the three of us back just under ten pounds including drinks.
The food on the entire journey has been exceptional and any hope that I had of losing weight has long been forgotten, I have even started to enjoy tofu which is scary. Also I keep on forgetting to mention the mosquito's which are bloody everywhere and seem to have a particular liking for my blood, potentially because of the alcoholic content and nutritonal value that it provides. Hopefully there will be something left of me to see the rest of China but its early days and I am already starting to look more and more like Joseph Merrick (Elephant man) as each day passes (although some might say that I had already made a pretty good start at that before I left).
Thursday, 7 October 2010
Yipee we can finally upload to our blog site!!!
Thursday 7th October
Finally! We have managed to find a wifi spot that doesnt kick us off after 2 seconds. I have also had to subscribe to a proxy service just to be able to upload anything, hey ho, sorry its taken so long to get all of these on here and please excuse any typo's I am sure that there are loads!
Wow what a day, as promised, Wu was there at 08:30 sharp and we were sheaperded into a shiny new car on route to the Mutianyu section of the wall. We were informed that because of the holiday the other sections had very large traffic jams that could add an additional 3 hours to the drive which definately wasnt a pleasing thought.
On the way Wu practiced his english on us with enthusiasm and I was very tempted to make up some words just to confuse him but resisted the temptation. At one point he asked us what the latitude of London was and we presented him with three of the most gormless looks that we could muster. He then asked what the word was for longditude, we told him and he sat and repeated it to himself over and over again for about 30 minutes, which was a little annoying but probably more interesting that what he had been saying originally.
We made it to the wall without any traffic jams in about an hour and a half and I promise you it is no less spectacular than you can imagine. To begin with you need to navigate through a small market with the usual collection of touts trying to harrass you into buying a totally original statue that just happens to be on every single stall. There are your odd splaterings of restaurants and even a subway which was a little worrying as I was afraid the americans had invaded it and we would be presented with "This section of the great wall is sponsored by Mc Donalds" and coloured to look like Ronald McDonalds face.
But to my relief all of the stalls and shops ended quickly and we were given two options, walk up to the main section of the wall or take the cable car. This was a very difficult decision that we must have dwelt upon for at least 0.5 seconds before opting for the lazy way (we didnt get our physiques for nothing you know).
Wu ran around collecting tickets to various things and spent about 30 minutes with us at the top of the cable platform, informing us of how they used to use wolf dung for this and that (shows how much I was paying attention) before he finally left us to our own devices.
Although this section of the wall is less touristy than that of Badaling it was still very busy at the begining section. It seems however that most people simply get up to the wall, look at it for a couple of seconds before decending back down to their air conditioned cars and KFC family bucket.
It was a welcome relief to get away from the masses and as we walked further along the wall the population started thining out dramatically until there were some sections where we were totally alone. I took a zillion pictures which no doubt will either be blurry or out of focus.
This section of the wall has an incredibly steep incline at the end of the main stretch and although we tried to cooerce Tyler up to the top we only made it about half way up until his legs gave way. We still made it a lot further than others and Wu was surprised at how long we had been walking for when we returned.
You could easily tell the people that had gone all of the way up, they were the ones wringing out there shirts and being given a wide birth by everyone, that is except for the multitude of flying insects that seemed to just be everywhere.
After we got dropped back off we extended our stay at the hotel by a few days and headed off to the railway station to book our tickets through to Xi'an. I was very proud of us, we managed to get three tickets for a night train, on the correct day and potentially even in the same cabin as one another.
From here we decided to make our way down to the Shaolin Kung Fu show at the Red Temple theatre, it was packed but we managed to secure three tickets for the evenings performance and were not disappointed. Tyler especially loved it and was awe struck as the artists balances on knife blades and flew around the stage. There were even small children doing somersaults onto their heads, a feat that looked extremely painful and yet natural at the same time, it was a great show and a perfect way to end the day!
Finally! We have managed to find a wifi spot that doesnt kick us off after 2 seconds. I have also had to subscribe to a proxy service just to be able to upload anything, hey ho, sorry its taken so long to get all of these on here and please excuse any typo's I am sure that there are loads!
Wow what a day, as promised, Wu was there at 08:30 sharp and we were sheaperded into a shiny new car on route to the Mutianyu section of the wall. We were informed that because of the holiday the other sections had very large traffic jams that could add an additional 3 hours to the drive which definately wasnt a pleasing thought.
On the way Wu practiced his english on us with enthusiasm and I was very tempted to make up some words just to confuse him but resisted the temptation. At one point he asked us what the latitude of London was and we presented him with three of the most gormless looks that we could muster. He then asked what the word was for longditude, we told him and he sat and repeated it to himself over and over again for about 30 minutes, which was a little annoying but probably more interesting that what he had been saying originally.
We made it to the wall without any traffic jams in about an hour and a half and I promise you it is no less spectacular than you can imagine. To begin with you need to navigate through a small market with the usual collection of touts trying to harrass you into buying a totally original statue that just happens to be on every single stall. There are your odd splaterings of restaurants and even a subway which was a little worrying as I was afraid the americans had invaded it and we would be presented with "This section of the great wall is sponsored by Mc Donalds" and coloured to look like Ronald McDonalds face.
But to my relief all of the stalls and shops ended quickly and we were given two options, walk up to the main section of the wall or take the cable car. This was a very difficult decision that we must have dwelt upon for at least 0.5 seconds before opting for the lazy way (we didnt get our physiques for nothing you know).
Wu ran around collecting tickets to various things and spent about 30 minutes with us at the top of the cable platform, informing us of how they used to use wolf dung for this and that (shows how much I was paying attention) before he finally left us to our own devices.
Although this section of the wall is less touristy than that of Badaling it was still very busy at the begining section. It seems however that most people simply get up to the wall, look at it for a couple of seconds before decending back down to their air conditioned cars and KFC family bucket.
It was a welcome relief to get away from the masses and as we walked further along the wall the population started thining out dramatically until there were some sections where we were totally alone. I took a zillion pictures which no doubt will either be blurry or out of focus.
This section of the wall has an incredibly steep incline at the end of the main stretch and although we tried to cooerce Tyler up to the top we only made it about half way up until his legs gave way. We still made it a lot further than others and Wu was surprised at how long we had been walking for when we returned.
You could easily tell the people that had gone all of the way up, they were the ones wringing out there shirts and being given a wide birth by everyone, that is except for the multitude of flying insects that seemed to just be everywhere.
After we got dropped back off we extended our stay at the hotel by a few days and headed off to the railway station to book our tickets through to Xi'an. I was very proud of us, we managed to get three tickets for a night train, on the correct day and potentially even in the same cabin as one another.
From here we decided to make our way down to the Shaolin Kung Fu show at the Red Temple theatre, it was packed but we managed to secure three tickets for the evenings performance and were not disappointed. Tyler especially loved it and was awe struck as the artists balances on knife blades and flew around the stage. There were even small children doing somersaults onto their heads, a feat that looked extremely painful and yet natural at the same time, it was a great show and a perfect way to end the day!
Wednesday, 6 October 2010
I Love B J (At least thats what the T-Shirst say)
Tuesday 5th October
Beijing is fantastic, but incredibly busy as the country is celebrating their national holiday for the week. We were expecting to be wandering about like lost sheep when we arrived so were totally chuffed when someone met us off of the train and took us directly to our hotel. Yes you heard me correctly, hotel! Its great, it has proper beds, a tv and even a kettle that plays classical music as it boils! We are all in our elements and have had umteen showers since we arrived.
The interesting thing about china so far is that nothing seems to be off limits as far as food is concerned! Take for example out breakfast buffet, which consisted of chicken nuggets, cauliflower and meat rice! Then last nights dinner which consisted of an entire chicken including the head which made pauline heave when I started to devour it with enthusiasm just to gross her out :) I think I am going to love China!
We headed off to Tiananmen Square today and wandered around totally alone (except for the 2 billion other locals that had decended on the main tourist area for the day) it was incredible. We spent 5 hours meandering around the forbidden city using one of the audio tours that made you jump out of your skin every time you walked passed one of the automatic announcements.
The place was huge and you could easily spend an entire day there, if not more, however as we were pretty short of time we opted to look around the main halls and then headed off to Tianemen square itself.
The square was packed full of people not actually doing a great deal, they seemed to just be spending the day somewhere that was special to them. The atmosphere was great and it really was quite emotional being there whilst so many people were celebrating.
We wandered about until our legs couldnt take it any more and then we headed back to meet up with Tyler's friend from Cranfield who had moved back to Beijing the year before. We were very embarrased as they had brought us all a gift and a special present for Tyler. We had only brought a small book out with us as it was all that we could carry so it seemed a little unfair.
They also insisted on paying for dinner and in usual style ordered way more food than we could have ever eaten, but it was delicious (even the tofu with crab seeds which I didnt think I would ever like). It was great to speak with peopl local to the area and the family were lovely, I am only gutted that I didnt have the chance to meet them in Cranfield.
They also gave us some great advice concerning other places to visit within China and offered to set us up with their friend who was a tour guide in case we had any other questions. Its always good to use someone who is recommended, which is why I am sorry that as soon as we got back to our hotel we were greeted by Wu, the slightly cooky tour guide who had met us from the train. He had already been phoning us throughout the day apparently and was very eager to arrange a tour for us probably about as eager as we were to get rid of him so we quickly signed up for a great wall tour for the next day and headed off to bed.
Beijing is fantastic, but incredibly busy as the country is celebrating their national holiday for the week. We were expecting to be wandering about like lost sheep when we arrived so were totally chuffed when someone met us off of the train and took us directly to our hotel. Yes you heard me correctly, hotel! Its great, it has proper beds, a tv and even a kettle that plays classical music as it boils! We are all in our elements and have had umteen showers since we arrived.
The interesting thing about china so far is that nothing seems to be off limits as far as food is concerned! Take for example out breakfast buffet, which consisted of chicken nuggets, cauliflower and meat rice! Then last nights dinner which consisted of an entire chicken including the head which made pauline heave when I started to devour it with enthusiasm just to gross her out :) I think I am going to love China!
We headed off to Tiananmen Square today and wandered around totally alone (except for the 2 billion other locals that had decended on the main tourist area for the day) it was incredible. We spent 5 hours meandering around the forbidden city using one of the audio tours that made you jump out of your skin every time you walked passed one of the automatic announcements.
The place was huge and you could easily spend an entire day there, if not more, however as we were pretty short of time we opted to look around the main halls and then headed off to Tianemen square itself.
The square was packed full of people not actually doing a great deal, they seemed to just be spending the day somewhere that was special to them. The atmosphere was great and it really was quite emotional being there whilst so many people were celebrating.
We wandered about until our legs couldnt take it any more and then we headed back to meet up with Tyler's friend from Cranfield who had moved back to Beijing the year before. We were very embarrased as they had brought us all a gift and a special present for Tyler. We had only brought a small book out with us as it was all that we could carry so it seemed a little unfair.
They also insisted on paying for dinner and in usual style ordered way more food than we could have ever eaten, but it was delicious (even the tofu with crab seeds which I didnt think I would ever like). It was great to speak with peopl local to the area and the family were lovely, I am only gutted that I didnt have the chance to meet them in Cranfield.
They also gave us some great advice concerning other places to visit within China and offered to set us up with their friend who was a tour guide in case we had any other questions. Its always good to use someone who is recommended, which is why I am sorry that as soon as we got back to our hotel we were greeted by Wu, the slightly cooky tour guide who had met us from the train. He had already been phoning us throughout the day apparently and was very eager to arrange a tour for us probably about as eager as we were to get rid of him so we quickly signed up for a great wall tour for the next day and headed off to bed.
UB Happy to B Gone
Sunday 3rd October
We are now on the train out of Mongolia and not a moment too soon, Ulaan Baatar is a very dangerous place indeed! I had read that there was violence against westerners, however I figured that it had been hyped up and that it was limited to a specific area, however I didnt feel that safe from the moment we got back from the Ger camp. Then yesterday we ran into a German couple who we had met previously on the train and he had been punched in the face whilst they were walking down the street (this in itself was no mean feat as he was well over 6 foot tall and built like a brick shit house). He then continued to relay stories of other people in their hostel who had similar experiences including a woman who was standing outside the department store and was kicked in the back and then one that was mugged in the middle of a packed market.
Needless to say we didnt stick around, we had bumped into them at the Natural History museum and up until that point we had been enjoying a plesant day in the capital sauntering from street to street until finally we had managed to end up in the main square. They had a demonstration of Tae Kwon Do that we sat and watched for a while and then decided to check out a few of the museums. However after meeting the german couple we looked around the museum in under a minute, grabbed a quick bite to eat and then practically sprinted back to the hostel where we settled down for the night (at precisely 4pm).
The thing is that out on the street we stuck out like a sore thumb wherever we went and all eyes were watching us, not in a casual way either but a mixture of intrigue and resentment. It was very intimidating but I guess that we were lucky this time! Its a shame because the experience up until then had been very nice, the Ger camp was amazing and in stark contrast to the hussle and bussle of UB.
We are now on the final leg of our planned itinerary which is the train through to Beijing, after which we are on our own and need to come up with a plan pretty soon. Also just to add we met up with the scandinavian couple again and they loved UB so it looks as though the others were just unlucky and hopefully the previous paragraphs will not taint anyones view of the capital. We are sharing our compartment this time with a Mongolian lady and obviously told her how much we loved the place, sometimes its OK to lie, so long as you dont give out your blog site :-)
As we approach China I am experiencing a mixture of excitement and trepidation that the unknown normally provokes, however we have arranged to meet up with Tyler's friends so that waylays some of the uncertainty.
Also as a side note, so far on this trip I have lost a camera, a wash bag and half a tooth, but whos counting?
We are now on the train out of Mongolia and not a moment too soon, Ulaan Baatar is a very dangerous place indeed! I had read that there was violence against westerners, however I figured that it had been hyped up and that it was limited to a specific area, however I didnt feel that safe from the moment we got back from the Ger camp. Then yesterday we ran into a German couple who we had met previously on the train and he had been punched in the face whilst they were walking down the street (this in itself was no mean feat as he was well over 6 foot tall and built like a brick shit house). He then continued to relay stories of other people in their hostel who had similar experiences including a woman who was standing outside the department store and was kicked in the back and then one that was mugged in the middle of a packed market.
Needless to say we didnt stick around, we had bumped into them at the Natural History museum and up until that point we had been enjoying a plesant day in the capital sauntering from street to street until finally we had managed to end up in the main square. They had a demonstration of Tae Kwon Do that we sat and watched for a while and then decided to check out a few of the museums. However after meeting the german couple we looked around the museum in under a minute, grabbed a quick bite to eat and then practically sprinted back to the hostel where we settled down for the night (at precisely 4pm).
The thing is that out on the street we stuck out like a sore thumb wherever we went and all eyes were watching us, not in a casual way either but a mixture of intrigue and resentment. It was very intimidating but I guess that we were lucky this time! Its a shame because the experience up until then had been very nice, the Ger camp was amazing and in stark contrast to the hussle and bussle of UB.
We are now on the final leg of our planned itinerary which is the train through to Beijing, after which we are on our own and need to come up with a plan pretty soon. Also just to add we met up with the scandinavian couple again and they loved UB so it looks as though the others were just unlucky and hopefully the previous paragraphs will not taint anyones view of the capital. We are sharing our compartment this time with a Mongolian lady and obviously told her how much we loved the place, sometimes its OK to lie, so long as you dont give out your blog site :-)
As we approach China I am experiencing a mixture of excitement and trepidation that the unknown normally provokes, however we have arranged to meet up with Tyler's friends so that waylays some of the uncertainty.
Also as a side note, so far on this trip I have lost a camera, a wash bag and half a tooth, but whos counting?
Go mad for the Nomad!
1st October 2010
We arrived in Ulaan Baatar (UB to the locals) early on Thursday morning and as soon as we stopped our carriage was beseiged by local currency exchange touts. It was crazy as most of them looked about 130 years old but ran around on sprightly legs and got right in your face waving wads of notes that resembled used toilet paper.
We managed to squeeze past them and were eventually met on the platform by our guide who was to whisk us off to the Ger encampment. Not an overly pleasing prospect having consumed a large quantity of Vodka the night before with a scandinavian couple and I was feeling as rough as anything. To make matters worse the encampment lay 80kms to the north of UB on a road that was originally paved in 1613 and hadnt seen an ounce of resurfacing since.
Somehow my stomach managed to stay intact and we arrived at the camp heavily shaken but otherwise all in one piece and I have to say it was magical. Our camp (Chinngis tourist camp) lay nestled between rolling hills surrounded by other small camps. We were shown to our Ger and it was amazing, we had previoulsy been advised that we would be sleeping on solid wood beds and that the floor would be covered in spiders, however ours had three beds with matresses and even electricity, which felt like we were cheating a bit but were so please we didnt care. The camp even had its own toilet block and restaurant so we had really fallen on our feet.
When we were introduced to our local guide he advised us that we would be the last tourists of the season which meant that we were pretty much on our own. We were asked if we wanted breakfast and knew that we were really living the nomadic lifestyle when they presented us with sausages and eggs, I was in heaven. No sooner had we finished and left the breakfast Ger they started to dismantle it and it seemded that ours was to be one of the last few to remain intact until we left.
We were then left to our own devices for a few hours, during which time we scoped out the reserve and went up to the viewing podium that overlooked the valley beneath, an absolutely stunning view which once againt my photos will not do justice for. Tyler seems to have discovered an infatuation with bones on this trip, so much so that we went scouring the countryside for them everywhere and much to his excitement we found ram skulls and cow jaws. He wanted to bring them all with him which would have made us all look slightly more freaky than we already did, perhaps we could have fashioned them into hats to ensure everyone gave us the widest birth possible.
Just as my hangover was starting to subside the guide reminded us that we would be starting our hourse riding tour just after lunch and having read the guest book over breakfast it was a pretty daunhting prospect with many reviews stating that they had never ached so much in their lives.
I prepared myself and tied my padded jacket around my arse to provided an extra layer of cushoning over and above the hefty fat deposits that already reside there. We were shown our horses and whisked off across the country side. I had expected a 5 minute ride and then be back in the camp but ohhh no they wanted to take us to the giant 50 ft Chinngis Khan Museum that we had passed on the way in, approximately 45 minutes ride away.
Although we were far from professional, you cant help but picture yourself in a western (much the same as playing guitar hero makes you think you can actually play guitar), that is right up to the point where the guide decides that it would be good to do a gentle canter and your arse starts to lift off of the saddle and then collide once again with it at break neck speeds.
What ensued was that every ounce of fat on us rippled up and down in a very fast rythmic motion whilst our bums were polverised by the hard mongolian saddle beneath, rather like ridding on a pneumatic drill whilst someone slaps your arse with a paddle. Still eventually we made it to the museum and what a site it was, litterally in the middle of nowhere someone thought that it would be a great idea to erect a giant statue of Ghengis Khan and stuff a museum beneath it. We went in and you can climb right up to the top and come out on a viewing platform about half way up his body. Tyler found it emmensly funny that we all walked out of where he penis would be and insisted we took pictures there.
Although the horse riding sounded rough we all loved it and I would highly recommend it to anyone, we could even walk in a straight line this morning so it couldnt have been that bad!
We went back to the ger just before nightfall and realised that there seems to be two temperatures in Mongolia, scorching hot or freezing cold, we even managed to combine these so that it was scorching hot in the ger (thanks to Paulines arsonistic tendancies) and sub zero as soon as we opened the door.
We settled down for the night in a hot sweat and woke up early in the morning in the freezing cold, it was quite an experience and to be honest although reading through this it sounds like some peoples worst nightmare, I would move here tomorrow, the place is amazing and I have never felt so relaxed.
As they were closing up camp we offered to move into a hostel for the evening so that they could dismantle our ger but first they took us on a tour of the nearby Terelj national park, an area of incredible beauty and amazing stone monoliths. I even got to pose with an eagle on my arm, which was an amazing experience and quite terrifying at the same time and once again Tyler managed to find a giant ram skull so he was in his element.
Once again the road journey anywhere was like sitting in a blender and there is every chance that our internal organs have merged together thanks to the complete exclusion of suspension on our tour bus. However this didnt deter the driver who decided that the perfect place for a picnic would be at the top of the steepest, bumpiest hill that the area had to offer. At one point I believe that I became as one with the chair I was sitting on and was worried that getting out would cause me to lose a layer of skin from my back.
Still we had a fantastic day and we are now settled into the Mr Gomez Hostel in UB, which seems full of charm if you manage to overlook the cast iron railings over the windows and the fact that its an awfully scary place in general. The main thing though is that it has a shower and we all once again feel clean and happy! Its the small things in life that keep you going!
We arrived in Ulaan Baatar (UB to the locals) early on Thursday morning and as soon as we stopped our carriage was beseiged by local currency exchange touts. It was crazy as most of them looked about 130 years old but ran around on sprightly legs and got right in your face waving wads of notes that resembled used toilet paper.
We managed to squeeze past them and were eventually met on the platform by our guide who was to whisk us off to the Ger encampment. Not an overly pleasing prospect having consumed a large quantity of Vodka the night before with a scandinavian couple and I was feeling as rough as anything. To make matters worse the encampment lay 80kms to the north of UB on a road that was originally paved in 1613 and hadnt seen an ounce of resurfacing since.
Somehow my stomach managed to stay intact and we arrived at the camp heavily shaken but otherwise all in one piece and I have to say it was magical. Our camp (Chinngis tourist camp) lay nestled between rolling hills surrounded by other small camps. We were shown to our Ger and it was amazing, we had previoulsy been advised that we would be sleeping on solid wood beds and that the floor would be covered in spiders, however ours had three beds with matresses and even electricity, which felt like we were cheating a bit but were so please we didnt care. The camp even had its own toilet block and restaurant so we had really fallen on our feet.
When we were introduced to our local guide he advised us that we would be the last tourists of the season which meant that we were pretty much on our own. We were asked if we wanted breakfast and knew that we were really living the nomadic lifestyle when they presented us with sausages and eggs, I was in heaven. No sooner had we finished and left the breakfast Ger they started to dismantle it and it seemded that ours was to be one of the last few to remain intact until we left.
We were then left to our own devices for a few hours, during which time we scoped out the reserve and went up to the viewing podium that overlooked the valley beneath, an absolutely stunning view which once againt my photos will not do justice for. Tyler seems to have discovered an infatuation with bones on this trip, so much so that we went scouring the countryside for them everywhere and much to his excitement we found ram skulls and cow jaws. He wanted to bring them all with him which would have made us all look slightly more freaky than we already did, perhaps we could have fashioned them into hats to ensure everyone gave us the widest birth possible.
Just as my hangover was starting to subside the guide reminded us that we would be starting our hourse riding tour just after lunch and having read the guest book over breakfast it was a pretty daunhting prospect with many reviews stating that they had never ached so much in their lives.
I prepared myself and tied my padded jacket around my arse to provided an extra layer of cushoning over and above the hefty fat deposits that already reside there. We were shown our horses and whisked off across the country side. I had expected a 5 minute ride and then be back in the camp but ohhh no they wanted to take us to the giant 50 ft Chinngis Khan Museum that we had passed on the way in, approximately 45 minutes ride away.
Although we were far from professional, you cant help but picture yourself in a western (much the same as playing guitar hero makes you think you can actually play guitar), that is right up to the point where the guide decides that it would be good to do a gentle canter and your arse starts to lift off of the saddle and then collide once again with it at break neck speeds.
What ensued was that every ounce of fat on us rippled up and down in a very fast rythmic motion whilst our bums were polverised by the hard mongolian saddle beneath, rather like ridding on a pneumatic drill whilst someone slaps your arse with a paddle. Still eventually we made it to the museum and what a site it was, litterally in the middle of nowhere someone thought that it would be a great idea to erect a giant statue of Ghengis Khan and stuff a museum beneath it. We went in and you can climb right up to the top and come out on a viewing platform about half way up his body. Tyler found it emmensly funny that we all walked out of where he penis would be and insisted we took pictures there.
Although the horse riding sounded rough we all loved it and I would highly recommend it to anyone, we could even walk in a straight line this morning so it couldnt have been that bad!
We went back to the ger just before nightfall and realised that there seems to be two temperatures in Mongolia, scorching hot or freezing cold, we even managed to combine these so that it was scorching hot in the ger (thanks to Paulines arsonistic tendancies) and sub zero as soon as we opened the door.
We settled down for the night in a hot sweat and woke up early in the morning in the freezing cold, it was quite an experience and to be honest although reading through this it sounds like some peoples worst nightmare, I would move here tomorrow, the place is amazing and I have never felt so relaxed.
As they were closing up camp we offered to move into a hostel for the evening so that they could dismantle our ger but first they took us on a tour of the nearby Terelj national park, an area of incredible beauty and amazing stone monoliths. I even got to pose with an eagle on my arm, which was an amazing experience and quite terrifying at the same time and once again Tyler managed to find a giant ram skull so he was in his element.
Once again the road journey anywhere was like sitting in a blender and there is every chance that our internal organs have merged together thanks to the complete exclusion of suspension on our tour bus. However this didnt deter the driver who decided that the perfect place for a picnic would be at the top of the steepest, bumpiest hill that the area had to offer. At one point I believe that I became as one with the chair I was sitting on and was worried that getting out would cause me to lose a layer of skin from my back.
Still we had a fantastic day and we are now settled into the Mr Gomez Hostel in UB, which seems full of charm if you manage to overlook the cast iron railings over the windows and the fact that its an awfully scary place in general. The main thing though is that it has a shower and we all once again feel clean and happy! Its the small things in life that keep you going!
CU L8ER USSR
Tuesday 28th September
With our iminent departure from Russia looming, I thought that I would share some observations with everyone. They are of course only my perspective and shouldnt be taken as gospel, but are merely presented here for others to perhaps identify with should they happen to find thereselves in this part of the world.
1. The key word that sums up Russia for me is "Functional", everything just works, ok it doesnt have all of the bells and whistles that some people are accustomed to, but nethertheless it works sometimes better than elsewhere. Take for instance their transportation system, now Russia is bloody mahoosive, in fact its so bloody big that its pretty incredible how their public transportation system could outshine that of the UK in every respect, but it does. The metro system in Moscow and St Petersberg is simple to navigate and costs the equivalent of a stick of chewing gum to ride on all day. Their train system just works, on schedule, with trains that were around long before I was and without the mod cons of back home, but in many ways it outstrips what we have in every way.
Most of the major cities have a functional tram system that is even cheaper than the metro yet convenient in the respect of being able to actually see where you want to get off. If that wasnt enough there are a million and one buses waiting eagerly to pick you up for the cost of a peanut and ferry you to your desired (or potentially not) destination.
2. Russian cities can be pretty ugly but to compensate they pack them full of beautiful people and it seems that the more ugly the city, the more beautiful people they breed to counter the balance. Now please bear in mind that I am talking about the sub 40 age bracket, after that it goes downhill pretty quickly to the point where I believe mirrors are banned from most houses and people only go out after dark. But the sub 40s are numerous and higly appreciated!
3. I never thought I would ever utter these words but "Russian chocolate is the best, full stop" I am completely gobsmacked by just how good the stuff is and someone should start to import it asap.
4. Lada??? Whats with that? I think its suffice to say that Jeremey Clarkson has pretty much sown up the disucssion on these cars, however I would just like to add that they are absolutely everywhere and in shapes and sizes unknown outside of the country.
5. Smoking! I believe that someone a long time ago passed a law that states anyone in Russia from the age of 8 upwards must consume at least one packet of cigarettes a day! Everyone seems to smoke here and a packet costs the equivalent of a chocolate bar back home(incidently a chocloate bar costs the equivalent of a peanut again).
6. Although it isnt for me to pass judgement, there seems to be a certain amount of repression within the country still. It is near on impossible for locals to obtain visas for most countries and if by some slim chance they are able to the chances are that they would need to travel to Moscow in order to obtain them (sometimes multiple days away with no limit on how long they would need to stay).
Russia has been a land of contrasts for me, you very seldom see people smiling, some of their prospects are pretty minimal, however they continue to work their socks off to make the country run like clockwork. There is so much that the country could be but there seems to be a lack of progression with most people just working all day to scrape a living with no promising future to motivate them.
Anyway on that rather sombre note, we are now on the train to Mongolia, the train is far more modern that our last one so I guess I may have to retract or at least modify statement 1, however that seems like too much hardwork.
There are also people who speak english onboard so its been nice to have our first proper conversation with people who dont just stare at you blankly. We were joined last night by some random large Russian in our compartment but he was gone again this morning so I guess we scared him away :-)
Ta ta for now!
Darren
With our iminent departure from Russia looming, I thought that I would share some observations with everyone. They are of course only my perspective and shouldnt be taken as gospel, but are merely presented here for others to perhaps identify with should they happen to find thereselves in this part of the world.
1. The key word that sums up Russia for me is "Functional", everything just works, ok it doesnt have all of the bells and whistles that some people are accustomed to, but nethertheless it works sometimes better than elsewhere. Take for instance their transportation system, now Russia is bloody mahoosive, in fact its so bloody big that its pretty incredible how their public transportation system could outshine that of the UK in every respect, but it does. The metro system in Moscow and St Petersberg is simple to navigate and costs the equivalent of a stick of chewing gum to ride on all day. Their train system just works, on schedule, with trains that were around long before I was and without the mod cons of back home, but in many ways it outstrips what we have in every way.
Most of the major cities have a functional tram system that is even cheaper than the metro yet convenient in the respect of being able to actually see where you want to get off. If that wasnt enough there are a million and one buses waiting eagerly to pick you up for the cost of a peanut and ferry you to your desired (or potentially not) destination.
2. Russian cities can be pretty ugly but to compensate they pack them full of beautiful people and it seems that the more ugly the city, the more beautiful people they breed to counter the balance. Now please bear in mind that I am talking about the sub 40 age bracket, after that it goes downhill pretty quickly to the point where I believe mirrors are banned from most houses and people only go out after dark. But the sub 40s are numerous and higly appreciated!
3. I never thought I would ever utter these words but "Russian chocolate is the best, full stop" I am completely gobsmacked by just how good the stuff is and someone should start to import it asap.
4. Lada??? Whats with that? I think its suffice to say that Jeremey Clarkson has pretty much sown up the disucssion on these cars, however I would just like to add that they are absolutely everywhere and in shapes and sizes unknown outside of the country.
5. Smoking! I believe that someone a long time ago passed a law that states anyone in Russia from the age of 8 upwards must consume at least one packet of cigarettes a day! Everyone seems to smoke here and a packet costs the equivalent of a chocolate bar back home(incidently a chocloate bar costs the equivalent of a peanut again).
6. Although it isnt for me to pass judgement, there seems to be a certain amount of repression within the country still. It is near on impossible for locals to obtain visas for most countries and if by some slim chance they are able to the chances are that they would need to travel to Moscow in order to obtain them (sometimes multiple days away with no limit on how long they would need to stay).
Russia has been a land of contrasts for me, you very seldom see people smiling, some of their prospects are pretty minimal, however they continue to work their socks off to make the country run like clockwork. There is so much that the country could be but there seems to be a lack of progression with most people just working all day to scrape a living with no promising future to motivate them.
Anyway on that rather sombre note, we are now on the train to Mongolia, the train is far more modern that our last one so I guess I may have to retract or at least modify statement 1, however that seems like too much hardwork.
There are also people who speak english onboard so its been nice to have our first proper conversation with people who dont just stare at you blankly. We were joined last night by some random large Russian in our compartment but he was gone again this morning so I guess we scared him away :-)
Ta ta for now!
Darren
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